Maybe We're from Poland

I remember a very long time ago my oldest brother was in a play. One of the songs was about finding a mate and how in most instances opposites really don't attract. It said something about magnetic poles and how opposite charges attract one another. Then it said:
Guy 1: "But men and women are not poles."
Guy 2: "Unless they're from Poland."

I sing that single random line in my head from time to time when I think about Chris and I. We're not really opposites, per se, just a little different--and that's what makes this marriage so much fun.

Chris grew up with 3 sisters.

I grew up with 3 brothers.

Its crazy how family dynamics can shape someone. Chris is all about communication-- we must talk everything out. Nothing can just slide on through. I am impeccable at letting things go, sometimes to a fault. And I'm not against silence either. One time when I was in high school I was "dating" a guy and he called to talk on the phone after school. We had seen each other literally 30 minutes before, so when he called I was pretty quiet. "Why won't you talk to me? Are you mad?" he kept asking. No, I said, I just don't have anything to say. We just talked 30 minutes ago. He got mad about that one and our relationship didn't last much longer. The same thing happens today. We'll be in the car and I'll be silent and Chris will ask if I'm mad and I'll say I just don't have anything to say. My view is: Do you have to be talking all the time even when there is nothing to talk about? While Chris points out there is always something to talk about (and he's right about that one). One time Chris asked what happens when there is a fight in our family (the one I grew up in). If there is so little communication, how do we make up? "We don't really get in fights", I said. And if something bothers us, give it a second and we'll get over it. This came up a lot at the beginning of our marriage because Chris and I would have disagreements from time to time. In a matter of minutes I'd get over it and totally forget it and 2 hours later Chris would come and say "do you want to talk about it?" Talk about what? (Way to be perceptive, Erin). Over the years, I've been learning to talk a little more and Chris to talk a little less, and our strengths compliment each other and help cover for our weaknesses (I picked an exceptional partner when it comes to helping me with my weaknesses).

The other day I was feeling a little down. I decided to communicate. So I told him how I was just missing school and all the flexibility that comes with it and the people and professors and lectures and learning and all that jazz. Its hard to move into the 9-5, 40 hours a week working world. Chris is wonderful and wants me to be happy, so he storms into a plethora of solutions to my "problem". I could quit work and go to UT and we'd make the money work (what money?), I could get a graduate degree at UT, I could attend night classes here (the thought of fitting that into my schedule sent my head reeling). Anyway, we got into a little conversation about me missing school. At the end, Chris said "What do you want to do to make it better?" I replied, "Nothing! I was just telling you I missed school!" OK. It was hilarious. I don't think he was expecting me to just communicate for no particular reason. He has taught me well, obviously.

Anyway, its a pretty fun joke now, two years in to this whole marriage thing, that I'm cold-hearted and he's hyper-sensitive. But I think the point of marriage is to come together and meet in the middle right? Its been fun (and funny) along the way, and maybe our kids will turn out perfectly balanced;-). Regardless of how different we are (we really aren't that different) its fun to work life out--and enjoy it-- with the one you love.

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On a totally unrelated but hilarious note; the only thing I really do to 'bother' Chris is that I can be indecisive. But its not because I don't have an opinion, its because I honestly don't care. Where should we go out to eat? I really don't care. I just want to eat. Anyway, the other day I said to Chris: "Ok, new goal! I'm going to be decisive in everything, so you can't be mad or think I'm selfish when I just make a decision." He said "Like what? How are you going to be decisive?"

My response? "I don't know".

Then we both laughed really hard.