untitled.

I forgot to put dinner in the crockpot this morning. I was going to run to the store to pick up a few things to make something else. But I busted out Carly's swing that she hasn't used in months and put her screamin' self in it . . . and now she is asleep. Now I'm just enjoying the silence. I don't want to go to the grocery store. Maybe it will be a sandwich night.
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Ever had a few days where you feel sorry for yourself and then a few things happen and you realize just how very blessed you are? My last few days were the feel sorry days, and yesterday was my realization day. So today I've cherished every second with my Carly. We went to the gym and she was nice enough to let me have 27 minutes on the elliptical. I tried to stretch it to 30, but she warned me not to push my luck. Then I did sit-ups while holding her (she makes for good resistance), and every time I came up I'd kiss her on her face and she would do her giggle-grunt. She is beautiful.

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Yesterday while I was in the shower Carly was screaming her bloody-murder scream and I felt that anger start to build up in my chest. I hate that anger and I supress it using all my might. In the shower I started praying over and over that I wouldn't get upset and I would just be patient and figure out a way to make her happy. I turned the water off and she went quiet at the change. Then I ripped open the shower curtain and said "BOO!". And she started giggling. I did it a few times and she giggled every time. She started crying again a short while later, and today the shower curtain peek-a-boo didn't make a difference, but I'm grateful for the smidge of personal revelation that got us through yesterday morning.

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Look how massive she is. Can you even believe it?

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This post has no point. I'm not even sure what to title it. I just think motherhood is wackadoodle (the good kind of wackadoodle). These babies really put you to the test, but at the same time make everything all right. I've been thinking about how much of an impact mothers have on thier children. I love my mom so much and have always looked up to her. In the last little while (not sure when, since I moved to Tennessee I think) my mom has started working out really good. She and my dad have Gold's Gym passes and she goes most mornings. When I saw her over Christmas she looked so small and fit! And it made me want to work out more. Like, seeing my mom incorporate that into her life made me want to incorporate it into mine. And I'm old and married and have a kid of my own, but she's still my mom and I still look up to her. Does that even make sense? Its like when I was a teenager and I would accidentally walk in on my parents kneeling next to their bed in prayer. I want Carly to accidentally walk into my room and find me in prayer some day. That image is in my brain forever, and I want her to have that kind of example. Anyway, I just always think how I want Carly to be a strong and righteous woman -- that means I have to be a strong and righteous woman. And some days that's easier said than done.

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A few of my favorite pictures from the last few days:

Look at her sit! She is still pretty tipsy, but she's gettin there.

Gave her a mohawk today. This girl loves her daddy. She will fuss and fuss all day and then Chris gets home and she can't stop smiling at him. Sometimes I think we should trade places! (Please don't mind the hole in the pillow. Chris pulled the tag out of it with a little too much force).