all three.

The thing about kids is they keep changing and growing. You can't stop it. All you can do is stand back and marvel (and make sure they don't get hit by a car).

Carly has taken her role as a 4-year-old quite seriously. She informs just about anyone she meets that she is 4 years old and now attends preschool. Preschool has been a learning experience for all of us. She loves it just enough. But she loves being home. It warms my heart that she loves being home. She seems to do really great at school. At her parent-teacher conference, the teacher mentioned she was quiet and reserved. But in the weeks since, both teachers have said she is really coming out of her shell. She has a couple of little friends she reports playing with every time she goes. One of these friends in a boy who wears braces on his legs. She asked me about it, and I explained that Jesus made his legs a little different, but doctors gave him those braces to help him walk. At a field trip last week, Carly slowed down to walk with him while other kids rushed ahead. Four-year-olds aren't big on chit-chat, but they kept looking at each other and smiling and laughing. She is an example to me of just how little such differences matter. She loves when daddy takes her to school. Its a fun thing for both of them. Chris has been quite busy, and she has been having some attachment issues. She won't let him leave her sight when he is home; he'll go to the restroom and she says "Are you going to school?!" She's always been a daddy's girl, and I hope she always is. 

At home, she is the type-A, slightly emotional, loving, active big sister she has always been. She is quite good at playing with her babies, and giggles and squeals often fill our home. But if it is not giggles and squeals, it is screaming. Sometimes the babies just get all up in her business, and sometimes she gets all up in theirs, and battles ensue. She cherishes their nap time, and I try to make an effort to do things with her during that time that we just can't do while the babies are awake. She has become an irreplaceable member of my twin-survival team. She helps me get them up and settled at nap time. She holds hands while we walk to the car. She finds shoes, brings diapers, soothes terror over the vacuum. At the grocery store the other day, both babies started to lose it when we weren't even half-way done. I started to stress, but Carly went over to them and played peek-a-boo and sang Itsy Bitsy Spider. Most of the time 3 is hard. But other times, I wonder how people have twins without a Carly.

Oh, Quinn. This girl is something else. She is the sweetest little thing. She has a cute little voice, and expounds quite a bit in Quinnish, but still speaks limited English. She loves books. She will grab a book, force her way onto your lap, and grab your hand and place the book in it, just in case you weren't catching her drift. She likes snacks and at this point probably out-eats her bigger little brother. She is currently in a clingy, mama's girl phase. She likes to be with me most of the time, and when we walk she likes to hold my hand. I can't say I mind, she is incredibly delicious, and she is sweet when she is clingy (her brother is more of a head-butter). I can't help but love when she reaches out for me and says "mama! mama!" She LOVES her blanket, and can often be spotted walking around with it wadded up in her arms.

Quinn is our flower child. She is unique. It is so hard to describe in words. I had the sweetest experience with her that I feel describes her so well. We went to a wooded park to take fall foliage pictures. It was in the evening so it was pretty quiet. We were leaving, and almost out of the wooded area, when I realized Quinn was missing a shoe. The others went ahead, and Q and I went back to find her shoe. It was so quiet without Carly and John. Quinn is a peaceful little thing most of the time. We went back a ways, and just ahead of us stood 3 beautiful deer. In the fall leaves and the rays of sunshine and the silence, it really was quite the sight. I was holding Q, and she pointed to them and whispered her beautiful deep jibberish to me. And she just watched them. I suddenly felt the spirit so strong. We watched them for a bit, then a cyclist came and scared them away. But that is Quinn. 

John. All we can say about John is he is all boy. I mean, all those things you hear about boys? John fits every stereotype. He's not quite as sharp as his sisters, but he is super vocal. He has a particular passion for roaring and ribbiting. He loves "vrooms" and "choo choos". Like, he is obsessed with vehicles. I didn't know that was a real thing. He takes his little trucks and drives them over and over again over the air vents in the floor, because that makes way more noise than just driving them on the carpet. He colors with marker on his face and gets in the bath fully dressed. He HATES his car seat because he doesn't want to be restricted in any way. One day the girls were picking dandelions and taking them to Chris. John was watching them, and decided to join in the kind gesture. He brought Chris a large piece of bark. Its the thought that counts, right?

John likes to "snuggle" which is really more like wrestling, and he LOVES to wrestle. He really loves wrestling Chris, and loves to climb up on him and jump off. John is so loud. He is 100% everything. 100% this is the best moment of his life ever, or 100% this is the worst thing in history. He is highly emotional. And when he is sad he screams, and when he is happy he screams. The problem with John is he is so dang cute. I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father provided him with such cuteness to ensure his survival. But the boy is as lovable and as infuriating as they come. And he really is "all boy."

As for the duo? They are chaos.

They both know a lot of animal sounds, but beyond that they don't talk a ton. Their vocabulary includes mama, dada, bottle, night-night, bye-bye, pumpkin, Jesus, amen, and Elmo. I think it is interesting that while John uses words more often and usually says them first, they usually learn the same words. Their vocabulary is almost identical. I guess they are learning in the same place from the same people. They hit 18 months in August. They checked out perfectly at their appointment, and went to nursery without a problem. I don't know if it because they have each other, or because they have always been a little more independent with it comes to being watched by others. But they do great, and after a LONG sacrament meeting, the next two hours of church sure are nice. They are learning songs and are getting pretty good about folding their arms during prayer. During family prayer each night, we try to get them to be still and quiet. Lately, when they successfully last an entire prayer, they know they did a good job and all three of them stand up and clap and scream and squeal and laugh. It is hilarious.

John and Quinn make an incredible mess. They really wreck a lot of havoc. We keep the kitchen gated off and it is annoying, but every once in a while I will let the babies in there and it reminds me why it remains gated. They empty drawers, start the dishwasher, pull the desk apart, climb up on the table. Our living room is a disaster zone, but it is contained. I recently took about 80% of our toys to the basement, so that has helped too, but it really is amazing what they can accomplish together. I can only imagine how it is going to be in another 6 months. Two 20-month-olds wear me out. The thought of two 2-year-olds makes my head spin.

But they are partners in crime and their deeply contrasting personalities make for a relationship full of love and emotion. Quinn recently started saying "J'boi" . . . "John Boy". And I die every time she does. They are sweet and funny with each other, and totally insane. And I can't imagine having just one.

These kids are the three musketeers. Every time Carly gets out of school, she is so excited to go see her brother and sister, and they squeal when she arrives at the car. She climbs in and gives them each a kiss and there is much rejoicing (very loud rejoicing). They cherish each other, and they have so much fun together.

Every night after the long process of getting the kids to sleep, I spend way more time than I'd like to picking up toys, wiping down tables, chairs, and floors, doing dishes and preparing for the next day. To every thing there is a season, and my current season is a messy one. But before I go to bed, I like to sneak in to the kids room and peek at my sleeping babies. I walk into that room and the spirit is so strong. I love to fill my heart with their goodness before I fall asleep. They are my work, and they are my reward. And sometimes, I must admit, I find myself thinking about how much simpler it would be if there were just two. But when I look at those peaceful faces and listen to their even breaths, I know just how much I need all three.