how to potty train a twin.

I was racking my brain trying to figure out why November was such a blur, and then I remembered . . . potty training! Potty training wins the award for "Most likely to make a Mormon mom start doing Vodka shots." I have been putting it off, and I really had no intention of trying until after their third birthday. But for the past several months they have been showing the "signs" of readiness. When Quinn starting requesting diaper changes every time she was wet, I decided to pull the trigger. I started the Monday after Halloween, figuring we'd be far enough along to be able to enjoy the Christmas season. I made charts, they picked undies, and a jar was filled with Skittles. 

Let us go back in time 3 years and reminisce on potty training Carly. Potty training Carly was miserable. 1) I read the booklet about potty training your kid in three days. They made it sound like you could actually potty train a kid in three days. They recommended you have your kid be naked on the bottom and ask them every 2.7 second if they have to pee while not going anywhere ever. I put so much pressure on myself and on her, I wasn't sure Carly and I would ever be friends again. It took a lot of forgiveness on both ends. 2) I was in the third trimester of my twin pregnancy. My girth and intense hip pain and never ending nausea just made scrubbing pee out of the carpet 8 times a day not that much fun.

I had a better plan this time. Number one: don't be pregnant. Check. Number two: expect it to take a long time. I had a philosophical discovery during the year (yep!) it took to fully potty train Carly: it is a total lifestyle overhaul. All the sudden they have to pay attention to what is going on with their bodies. And not just notice, but take action. Its no easy feat. When you teach a kid to walk you don't just set him on his feet and give him three days. No, he starts with walking toys and scoots along the couch and then takes one step from mom to dad and then after a long learning process, he learns to walk. Its a life change. And so is learning to use the potty. My plan was to give them time. Number three: don't put myself on lockdown. It just wasn't going to happen. First, Carly goes to school every day. Second, I like my sanity, and I wasn't willing to lose it. We had potty training "sessions". They wore panties (poor John calls his superhero underwear "panties". One in a long list of hazards of only having sisters.) whenever we were at home, and I put a pull-up on them to leave the house. 

One thing I noticed right away was involving Carly was a must. She loves owning her big sisterhood, and helping them learn something big like this was very exciting for her. Mostly because she is type-A and likes leading the way. Also, I quickly discovered the problem with potty training twins was the same problem as anything else with twins: there are two of them. I would be sitting with one twin in the bathroom and the other one would be in the living room peeing on the carpet. So I had Carly sit in the bathroom and watch for signs of pee. She would cheer them on and help them wipe and show them how to wash their hands. She was a real lifesaver.

So how did it go? Let's start with Quinn. Wouldn't you know it, Quinn was potty trained in about three days. Who needs a book when you have a Quinn!? This girl, my peaceful newborn when her brother had colic, by sweet baby when her brother was always screaming. This angel girl figured out that potty so quick. She was very motivated, primarily by underwear. Big sister has awesome underwear with princess and flowers and strawberries on it, and Quinn would look at that underwear longingly. Quinn got Dora and Rapunzel panties and nothing was coming between her and wearing those panties. She had the normal expected accidents in the first days, but by the end of the week I took her to the library in panties and she stayed dry. The next week we went on a family day trip to Lewis/Clarkston and she stayed dry. At the end of the month we drove to Idaho and she stayed dry for a five hour driving stretch! She still has an accident once in a while when she gets so busy playing that she doesn't want to stop. The fact that she is always wearing a big princess dress and/or a ballet leotard has also caused some problems. But there have been so many times she stops what she is doing and yells "Me go pee pee!" and runs to the bathroom. The last few days she has been kicking me out and going all by herself, just like big sissy. Today she nudged me and said "Go out please, mommy." You don't have to tell me twice.

The most shocking thing of all was on day two. We were playing and she stands up and says "Me go poo poo!" and runs to the bathroom. She sits on the toilet and goes poo poo. I was bewildered. You mean she wasn't going to be so afraid of pooping on the toilet that she would go 5 days refusing to poop and end up curled up on the couch in intense pain holding it in until we gave her children's laxatives? Because that is what big sister did. She'd hold it in and it would make her sick and crazy moody, like a 15-year-old on her period. I kid you not, we affectionately called it "poop PMS". It took her months to go on the toilet, and longer still to do it consistently. And Quinn did it on day 2? She's my favorite; don't tell the others.

As for John? My theory on John is that God created him especially cute, pathetic, and endearing so that he would survive. John started to get the general idea of what was going on. But his motives were not pure. He was all about the candy. John is gifted in the ability to pee on demand. He would ask for candy, and I would tell him only if he went potty. So he'd run in there and squeeze out a few tinkles and pocket his winnings. And then 5 minutes later wet himself all over. Where did that pee come from? It was against the laws of nature. He got that he was supposed to pee while sitting on the toilet, he just did not grasp staying dry. He is just too lackadaisical. The other issue was splitting my time. Quinn was doing well, so I switched focus to John and Quinn started struggling. I had to pick, and since Quinn was almost there, I focused on her. I stuck with it with John for three weeks. When we left town for Thanksgiving he went to full-time pull-ups because I didn't want him having accidents all over my parents house. And now he is in pull-ups the same way he was in diapers, more or less. He does ask to go a few times a day, but his pull-up is always wet. Now I feel like this time of year is so hectic, and the parts that aren't hectic I want to enjoy, so I've kind of eased up and will come back fully energized after Christmas. Fingers crossed this plan doesn't backfire.

So if you're wondering why this post is "How to potty train a twin" rather than "How to potty train twins", it is because I don't know how to potty train twins. I am 1 for 2. But, hey, that is 50%. 50% off is quite the sale, and batting .500 is unheard of in the major leagues. John will get it. Just like sleeping through the night and learning to walk, he'll probably do it 6 months later than he should have. Ever since Quinn's water breaking forced him to be born before he was ready, he's always been on his own time table. He'll get it. I can wait for him.

Is it crazy that I miss diapers? I do. I have changed a ridiculous number of diapers in the last three years, but diapers are easy. You never have to drop everything and run across a store and cover a public toilet in toilet paper and plop your kid on at just the last second when they're in diapers. But I do love patting Quinn's tiny little girl bum. And I do love watching her furrow her brow, intensely deciding which pair of panties to wear. And I do love the proud smiles she gives me when she goes potty all by herself. As a mother, it is always bittersweet to watch them grow. You miss them being what they were, but your heart soars with what they are becoming. 

We survived round two of potty training without having developed any drinking habits. Fingers crossed for when we do John (again).