stick picking.

I seem to be experiencing early-onset nesting.

Its complicated when you have nausea, complete exhaustion, and nesting going on all at once.

It mostly ends up in me making Chris move furniture around.

But the good news is our living room is now rearranged, and it feels bigger, and the big window is no longer partly blocked and it lets in all sorts of Fall light.

The next step is a bookshelf-cube switheroo.

Carly's cubed shelf is coming downstairs and I'm getting bins to provide some toy organization.

And the bookshelf is going up to Carly's room in an effort to control her ever growing collection of books.

We are strongly considering putting the baby in our walk-in closet.

We measured and the crib fits in a way that would leave all sorts of room to spare,

and I could see it making a very cute tiny nursery.

I learned last time around that babies don't need nearly as much as you think they do.

I also learned that the more everyone sleeps, the better.

So maybe everyone having their own space would work best at the beginning.

We'll see.

Along with the nesting has come the desire for seasonal decor.

I pulled out our Halloween decorations on October 1st (practically a tradition).

But I was looking for some more Fall-y natural decor that could go into November.

That led us on a stick hunt.

I decided to collect sticks, though I didn't really know what fabulous craft I would do with them quite yet.

But turns out it was a perfect mommy-daughter-get-outside-no-more-Dora activity.

We walked over to our mini walking path forest area nearby.

Carly was an avid stick collector, even if some of her finds were closer to all-out branches.

We brought our treasure home and Carly instantly knew to dig in the dirt with the sticks.

Is that inborn?

By lunch time she was covered in dirt, leaves, and stick particles.

A successful afternoon.

The sticks sat on our front step for days.

It looked like we were going to build a campfire.

I wanted to do something, but wasn't feeling the energy.

I remembered a large glass vase I have, that I thought would be cute to fill with pine cones.

The sticks won.

Presto!

A stick bouquet.



It looks nice and Fall-y on our kitchen table.

Though, Carly asks to play with a "big stick" every time we sit down to eat.

Oh, and I just thought of the irony of "nesting" and collecting sticks.

If I wasn't currently functioning with half my brain, I would think of something clever to say about that.

Alas, you win some, you lose some.

xoxo.

everything.

Our Church held it's semi-annual General Conference this past weekend.

Its always a chance to relax, escape from the world,

and hear messages from people we believe are representatives of God.

Our weekend involved some amazing apple cobbler, meals with friends,

and an incredibly well-behaved toddler.

Our internet went out 5 minutes after noon on Saturday.

I mean, the Choir was still singing the opening song.

Nice timing, right?

We ended up listening to the Morning Session on my phone, which did not make for easy listening.

Chris was playing with Carly while I lied next to the phone.

Its been a hard few months, and I needed this Conference.

Through the static I heard my favorite talk of the whole Conference.

And my very favorite one-liner, perhaps ever:

"This is a paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing;
yet we are everything to God."

-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, You Matter to Him, October 2011-

We are everything to God is now on frequent replay in my brain.

Because sometimes its easy to forget.

one-third and a week.

I don't know if you heard, but my first trimester ended a week ago.

It's kind of a big deal.

We are now just over a third of the way there, and its amazing how time can simultaneously drag and fly. Being sick causes it to drag. Having a toddler causes it to fly. And I'm thinking the holidays will, too. I've officially decided March is the best time to have a baby.

I went to the doctor on Friday. It was a pleasant visit. There is nothing as heartwarming and reassuring as hearing that tiny heartbeat coming from your tummy. I always think it sounds like a train. I recorded it on my phone, and listen to it on occasion to remember why I'm doing this. That little choo choo train is why I'm doing this.

The second time around has been a different experience, for sure. With Carly, it was all-consuming. I mean, I was working full time at a desk job, and when things were slow I had nothing to do but dwell, especially after finishing my school work to graduate from BYU (how on earth did I do that?). This time around, I have Carly as a full-time job, and now that the sickness has been giving me a break occasionally, I even find myself forgetting I'm pregnant. Until I bend over to pick something up and my pants cut into my abdomen. With Carly, she was coming into our family and changing everything: how we'd live, how we'd sleep, how I would be spending my entire life. Our family was completely transforming around her. But Deux is coming into this already existing puzzle; he/she is just a missing piece.

Another difference? I'm showing. I started showing at about 10 weeks I think, maybe earlier. With Carly I was barely showing when I found out she was a girl at 19 weeks. I wore my regular pants up through I think 22 weeks. If I had maternity pants that weren't capris, I'd already to tempted to pull them out. This babe is making herself known much faster, but I hear that's normal the second time around. I was nervous about there being two in there, and at the doctor I said "Make sure there is only one heartbeat" and the nurse practitioner relied "Oh, I wouldn't be able to hear if there were two at this point." Thank you, ma'am, that's reassuring.

We find out if we're having a boy or a girl on November 10th. Way later than I wanted. I will be 20 weeks 4 days. I know, poor me. The doctor prefers to wait until 20 weeks to make sure and see everything in working order, so I guess that is good. And that way the sex will be more obvious if we get a peek. And that way Chris can actually go, since I'm waiting all the way until Thursday that week to get it. So while my bubble was totally burst after hoping I'd find out soon, I guess 5 more weeks won't kill anyone. I guess. The good news is we found a single boy name that we both really like. I've liked it but never brought it up because I thought he wouldn't. I texted it to him and he said "I actually really like that! Sounds like an archaeologist." Ha, whatever works right?

I also got my first awkward semi-rude pregnancy comment this week! Carly and I were at the second-hand store and I got her this little wagon for 90 cents (best 90 cents ever) and she was pulling it out the door. She kept looking back at it excitedly, and was walking really slow. But I just let her walk and do her thing. We got out of the way so a guy could pass us. He looked at her and at me and said "Well, if you don't have your hands full yet, you sure will soon." Ummm, thank you? That's very helpful.

Another exciting difference between this time and last (woah, I'm bouncing all over the place, sorry) is I've already felt movements. Carly I didn't feel until kind of late because a) I didn't know what I was looking for, and b) I had an anterior placenta. So this time it was fun to feel Deux just before 14 weeks. That is by far the most rewarding part of pregnancy, and feeling him/her earlier has been a nice tender mercy.

I've thought a lot about Carly as a big sister. The day we got the positive pregnancy test, I came out of the bathroom and looked at Carly and it was like all the sudden she was new in my eyes. She was a big sister, and her potential to influence her little sibling(s) for good is infinite. She is made of gold. She has an incredible soul and loving spirit and is just inherently helpful and caring. She is also fun and spunky. The very best components to make a big sister. Its like all the sudden my love for her has grown even more, not just because of what she is, but because of what she has to potential to become.

Cheers to a third of the way.

dibs.

When I was in high school, I used to go grocery shopping with my mom. We'd stop by the freezer section at the beginning, grab a box of Dibs, and snack on them as we shopped. Ever had Dibs? They are little bites of ice cream covered in a shell of chocolate. Highly recommend them. So, here are a few bites of our lives, covered in chocolate (along with a few fab phone pix):

Carly had a small case of the croup. Or as Chris called it "the whoop". One night I came downstairs and he was googling info and he said "an estimated 300,000 deaths!" and I thought From the croup? and I went and looked and he had totally googled "Whooping cough". Oh, dear, I love him. Anyway. Sunday night she was all wheezy and doing that fabulous barking cough. She was making us mighty nervous, and I was about 30 seconds from heading to the ER, but instead we went for a misty night drive, gave her a steamy bath, and put her down with a humidifier. By Tuesday she was almost as good as new. Carly is just about the healthiest child in the world, and I'm grateful for that. Even when she is sick, its short lived. The only thing that makes me nervous is she is so stubborn and strong. She was wheezing so bad and we'd ask her how she was feeling and she'd say "no, I'm ok". Someday she is going to break an arm and I'll have no idea. She got a double bee sting a few weeks ago and barely cried and as I held ice on it she kept saying "I'm ok, mama." A week earlier Chris got stung and I didn't hear the end of it (ha! jokes, jokes).

[down with the whoop . . . I mean, the croup.]



We've been experiencing endless rain and a lot of exhaustion (ok, that's just me) so we've found a few indoor activities. Carly keeps asking to go swimming, so one day I put her swimsuit on and put her in the tub. Bam! Swimming! It has since become a favorite past time and I have one been required to join her in my swimsuit once. We also finally set up a plaything with a slide on it that Chris's parents got her for her birthday. We set it up in the kitchen with the intention of moving it outside, but it won't stop raining. And I actually like it in the kitchen because she plays on it while I do dishes instead of emptying the dishwasher as I load it.

[making mommy's bed. i knew she'd become useful eventually.]



She is talking in longer sentences and the other day used a very complex sentence where she got both of the prepositions right. I was impressed. And the questions are getting worse. If she fixates on something, she won't let it go. On an episode of the Bubble Guppies, there is this giant robot bunny. She has asked by 5 million times "Where big robot bunny go?". I've told her all sorts of places, and once said "the mountains". "The mountains?" she asked. Then stopped to ponder that. Maybe he really did go to the mountains. She also understands so much. On another episode (yes, we're still watching a lot of tv around these parts, but at least it leads to learning opportunities, right?) there is a giant squid that eats a turkey sandwich. We were sitting at dinner and Carly asked "Where giant squid go?". I said "He had to go eat dinner too, just like us." And she replied "Squid go eat a turkey sandwich!". I told you. Brilliant.

[blowing bubbles. good grief, look at those curls.]

As for me, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and I'm excited. I'm pretty sure pregnancy is the only time anyone is excited about the doctor. I should be finding out when our ultrasound will be. That will be fun. I started out this week pretty sick, and the last 2 days have felt decent. I've even been somewhat productive, doing the dishes and laundry and what not. I still don't like cooking. Food, in general, is gross. But I did hang some things up in our kitchen that have been sitting on the table forever and it feels a little more homey. My parents got me this cute Michigan State whiteboard when they came. I hung it next to the fridge and every day have been doing "This day in history". I'm a massive history nerd, so its fun for me, and I try to pick one out from the History Channel website that might appeal to Chris too. I think it will be fun for our kids someday, and if its not, too bad. They have a nerdy mom.

[new kitchen decor.]

Chris is as good as they come. September 17 marked the 6th anniversary of our first date. I can't believe how much can change in 6 years. But I still think he is the cutest boy I've ever seen. We have both aged. Chris has these crows feet next to his eyes. They make him look older and I like it. The boy is aging well. But when he smiles his eyes scrunch up. That's where the crows feet are from. So they are really more like smile lines. I'm glad he has them. He has been getting the shaft lately. I've entered the phase where I'm still sick but also really hormonal and have a tendency to cry or get irritated. And I have a space bubble that I don't like anyone encroaching. Its not easy to be married to me right now. And Carly is in a "mommy phase", I think just because we spend an outrageous amount of time one-on-one. My poor husband. I don't know how he puts up with us girls. I can't believe he wants another one.

[she pulls out this adorable little move when she is pondering upon an answer to your question.]

When Carly naps, I try to, too. I've been finding I have a hard time actually sleeping, but it is important for me to lie down and rest. I have the Mormon Channel app on my phone, and I've recently been listening to General Conference talks while I rest. I always end up crying, because even though I pick random talks from random years, its always something I need to hear. The other day I was listening to President Uchtdorf give a talk from October 2010 called Of Things That Matter Most.  It was a talk about simplifying. He talked about trees, and when times are good, trees grow faster (I'm paraphrasing, obviously). But in difficult times, they slow down and hold steady. He talked about how we need to simplify our lives and when we go through hard times, we need to slow down and hold steady and just focus on what is most important. I've had a lot of mommy guilt since I've been sick. This summer I had a grand plan for things I wanted to do with Carly this fall, and every single one has fallen by the wayside. But President Uchtdorf reminded me that when things are hard, you don't have to do it all. You just have to do whats most important. Carly is fed (except those few times I forgot to give her breakfast), and safe (except that one time I lost her in Target), and loved. Oh, boy, is she loved. And she knows it. So I'm doing ok. For right now, I'm doing ok.

So can you tell I'm excited for Conference? When I was younger, I used to watch Conference with the expectation of some major life-altering announcement. But I've learned that much of Conference is things we've already heard or know. It all just comes out in new ways, so it can be replanted in our hearts, and so it can impact us in the way we need it to for each phase of our lives. What a blessing.

That's all I got.
Might have to send Chris out for some Dibs tonight.

xoxo. 

one fine day.

Fall is in full swing here in the mitten.

We have sunny, crisp days and downright chilly nights.

It sure is nice to crack open the windows and enjoy the fresh breeze.

Michigan does fall very well, and as such, I have made it a goal to get a lot of Fall-ing in every year.

So on Saturday, we were off to pick apples.

We had a fabulous time.

Highlights included

-the choo choo: Carly loved the ride and afterwards kept asking "Where my choo choo go?"

-hotdogs: It may not seem like a highlight, but when Deux saw one of those he/she had to have one. It was pretty much the best hotdog ever.

-apple cider slushy: Carly and Deux were both huge fans, and I'm not usually a cider person.

-Oh, and picking apples, of course. Though Chris and I did the picking and Carly did the eating.

(I didn't bring my big camera because I didn't want to carry it around, and I totally regretted it. It was beautiful!)

[Carly and daddy on the choo choo.]

[showing off our apples/eating our apples.]

[Carly fell and instead of getting up decided to go ahead and eat her apple.]

[beautiful day.]

[Carly and Deux fighting over the cider slushie.]

[our apple eater.]

We now have way more apples than we know what to do with.

Luckily I've been on an apple kick, and Carly and Daddy have an "apple peanut budder" tradition every night.

I also see caramel apples in our near future (Conference is this weekend, after all), and I might even attempt apple pie filling (with store-bough crust . . . I don't mess with wheat).

That afternoon we came home and all three (or four?) of us napped.

Then we went out to Steak n Shake for dinner.

Yes, for reals.

We were living the high life.

And did you know if you spend $8 on a Saturday or Sunday you get a kids meal free?

Talk about a cheap dinner.

Which is good, because the Country Mill hotdogs were less-than-cheap.

The best part of the day?

Spending the whole day together.

No homework.

No meetings.

No chores (even though there should have been).

There wasn't even any puking.

It was one fine day.

a code yellow.

I had a mommy rite of passage experience this morning. We went to Target because Carly is seriously lacking in warm clothes that fit appropriately (the high-water look only goes to far). I was perusing, and often Carly shares in the shopping. I looked up . . . and she was gone. I searched the toddler clothes section. I searched the shoes, and the boys clothes, and the girls clothes. I called her name louder and louder. Usually if I "lose" her, I find her in about 5 seconds. She doesn't wander far. We are pushing probably 2 minutes at this point and I start to panic.

Much like the time Carly's face had a run-in with a jar of alfredo, my brain went into rational thinking mode. I can keep looking for her, and who knows how long it will take me or how I might miss her by just a section or so (the girl responds to my calling about 50% of the time, especially in a store). And while I was searching it would give her a chance to get farther and farther away, hurt herself, or, heaven forbid, give someone the chance to leave with her. So, instead I found an employee. Its not easy to say "I was so caught up looking at toddler jeans that I misplaced the toddler who would be wearing them" but I did (though it came out more like "I can't find my little girl!") and it was immediately apparent they are trained for this sort of thing. They called a "code yellow" and blocked the exits and sent out her description and about 45 seconds later, they found her. And I wanted to cry. I couldn't decided whether she should be in trouble or not, but I just gave her a big hug instead.

I didn't know where my daughter was for about 3 minutes and I never never want to feel that again. I will never again judge someone with their kid on a monkey backpack leash. In fact, I wonder how much those things go for.

Oh, and where was she, you ask?

Trying on sunglasses.

Yes, she had about 10 pairs on the ground and one on her face.

Can you say diva?  

But don't worry.

We got her some very cute jeans.

hum your favorite hymn.

I was hunched over the toilet this morning, sitting on Carly's bathroom stool (why have I never done that before? way better than kneeling on the floor). Out of the blue, the words to a hymn popped into my head:

There is a green hill far away,
Without a city wall,
Where the dear Lord was crucified,
Who died to save us all.


We may not know, we cannot tell,
What pains he had to bear,
But we believe it was for us
He hung and suffered there.


There was no other good enough
To pay the price of sin.
He only could unlock the gate
Of heav’n and let us in.


Oh, dearly, dearly has he loved!
And we must love him too,
And trust in his redeeming blood,
And try his works to do.

I have no idea how or why or what that song has to do with puking.
But instead of feeling hopelessness, I felt hope.
And instead of crying, I laughed.

And I knew we'd be ok, even if we watched 3 movies in a row this morning.
And I knew that Deux is someone special.

xoxo.