a major award.

A while ago, my friend Brianna nominated me for the "Kreativ Blogger" award. Isn't that nice? We all like getting a shout-out once in a while. So I thought I'd keep the love alive. The rules?

1. Post 10 things about yourself others may not know.
2. Post the award.
3. Nominate 6 others for the award.

Ok, ready?

Ten things you may not know about me:

1. I secretly want purple streaks in my hair. I hated having red hair as a kid. It makes you different, and when you're a kid, you don't want to be different. But now I love my red hair, and would never color it, because I feel like I would never get my original color back. But, sometimes you do want to change things up, and often women do that by changing their hair. So I really want purple streaks. And a friend who does hair told me I could do purple extensions, so I wouldn't have to color my real hair. Even better. Finally, I told Chris about this desire, and he told me about a girl his freshman year with red hair and purple streaks and he just thought she was the bomb.com back in the day. Well, if that doesn't seal the deal, I don't know what will! Oh, someday soon I'm going to have purple streaks, trust me. I want to do it now, but then I'll have purple streaks in all the pictures from having the twins and when they are teenagers they will ask "Mom, why do you have purple in your hair?" Ha! Maybe it would be a good summer change, after I get my legs back under me. Good plan.

2. I have a thing for Russian/Eastern European names. Like Dmetri, Alexei, Natalia, Anastasia, Tatiana. I would totally name a girl Anastasia if it wasn't a little bit much. And one name I love for Miss A has that Eastern European flair to it, which makes me love it but also makes it a little hard to settle on since we have a hard-core Irish last name. And when I was a little girl I had a huge crush on a Russian gymnast named Alexei. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

3. For several years now, Chris and I have slept under separate blankets. We discovered early in our marriage that I'm a blanket hog, and that I like to sleep under two heavy blankets and Chris likes to sleep under one light blanket. And thus, the separation. It works well, and snuggling is still totally possible, don't worry.

4. Despite having a Bachelor's degree, I have no idea what kind of career I'd ever want to do, or what kind of advanced degree I'd want to get. For a long time I wanted to be a college professor, but now that I see what is involved in getting a PhD, I'm not that excited about the prospect. I loved my sociology undergrad, but don't see myself getting a Masters in it, as it is a lot of theory and very little actual doing. I'm really clueless. I would like to do something when all my kids are in school. I just don't know what. If I could go back in time, I would do my undergrad in dietetics and do something with Celiac Disease. Well, that is a nice idea theoretically, but I hate science and chemistry, so I'm not sure that would have actually worked out. My dream job? The blogger for the Pittsburgh Penguins official website. Yes, that would be awesome.

5. In high school, I used two new towels every day. I'm not kidding. That is 14 towels a week. I used one for my hair and one to dry my body. I can't believe my mom put up with that. Granted, I mostly did my own towel laundering at that point, but still. That habit was quickly knocked out of me when I went to college and had to pay for laundry.

6. If I could look exactly like Miranda Kerr, I would. (Do NOT Google Miranda Kerr, as she is a Victoria's Secret model. Use the reference below.)

7. My all time favorite movies: Jurassic Park, Sabrina, and the American President. Whenever Jurassic Park is on tv, Chris and I watch it and probably say "This is such a great movie" 20 times throughout. Sabrina is pure class and romance, and American President is politics, humor, and romance all in one. And they all have that fabulous 90s flair. Oh, the 90s. Those were the glory days.

8. I had a huge crush on Tom Brokaw as a tween. For reals. I would watch NBC Nightly News pretty much every night because we didn't have cable and I was a nerd. And I really loved when he wore the blue dress shirt with the white color and a red tie. Classy.

9. I love having painted fingernails. It makes me feel pulled together and pretty. The problem is, somehow my lifestyle (picking up toys and doing dishes, perhaps?) leads to them chipping easily. And being pregnant makes them grow out fast. So they never last long, but I do love painting them, and wish I could keep them perfectly painted all the time.

10. I L-O-V-E eggs. I love them in all forms, but really love them with runny yolks, which you're not supposed to eat when you're pregnant so it is on my list come March. I love eggs on bagels, and hardboiled with butter and salt, and in quesadillas . . . ooo, people, make an egg and salsa quesadilla. There was a phase around 18 weeks when that was just about all I could eat. Yum.

There you go.

Now, for my 6 blogs? I'll just share 6 I enjoy reading:

1. Stacey. We went to high school together. She has two cute boys and Chris and I always say if we lived next to them, we hope they would want to hang out with us, because we think they're cool.

2. The Apron Gal. This is not a plug. She's my sister-in-law. She is an awesome party-thrower and a fabulous cook and shares lots of great ideas and recipes. I love how she goes all-out in everything she does.

3. Nichelle. She is a Michigan friend. She has a seriously cute, laid-back little boy, and writes very clever posts.

4. Dore. She is my aunt. She has the spunkiest girl Novalie, and is just about the funnest mom I've ever seen. She is herself, and is a great example to me.

5. Taryn. We also went to high school together. She is mom to two beautiful girls and doing the student wife thing like me. Her posts are insightful and inspiring. And she's an extremely talented writer.

6. Rachel. I don't technically know Rachel in real life, I'm just a blog-stalking e-friend. She is unique and creative and funny. I always love her posts.

Yay for shout-outs.
xoxo.

the party tent.

We are settling in nicely to this new new semester.

Chris's schedule looks to be a bit friendlier than last semester, and his workload so be a tad lighter.

A huge blessing, considering what he'll have going on at home.

Carly and I are working on filling the days with fun while I simultaneously try to check off everything on my mile-long to-do list. We were in potty training lock down for over a week. It was hard, possibly one of the hardest weeks I've had as a mother to date. Thank you for a) ensuring me that Carly's behavior was normal, and b) convincing me not to stop. She is now doing great, and today is day 2 of zero accidents. I put a pull-up on her when we go in public because I physically can't deal with cleaning her up in a situation like that, but so far every time she has kept them dry. And she has gone potty at church and Red Robin. The girl is a champ. We are plugging along, though I see it being several weeks of routinely going before I'll feel like she is officially "potty trained".

During that time I tried to keep things somewhat positive.

One day I suggested we paint our toes.

Carly interpreted that as her painting her own toes.

I figured why not?

She had excellent form, though she needs to work on her aim.

We also played extensively with her new collection of toys from Christmas, painted lots of pictures, and probably watched Mulan 8 times. We introduced it to her recently and she officially loves it.

[two little princesses.]

We kicked off our three-day MLK Day weekend with a trip to Babies R Us. Carly and I desperately needed out of the house. We told Carly we were going to the 'baby store', and when we walked in she asked "Where are all the babies?" Smart girl. My main goal was a diaper bag, and I found one I'd been looking at online that is designed for twins. Its pretty big, not going to lie. I got it and figured I would do a "test pack" to see if I really needed that much space, factoring in two babies and the few toddler things I still carry. I tested it today, and, for sure, I'll need the space. So if you're looking for me in April, I'll be the girl with the toddler carrying a towel, two infant carseats, and a massive diaper bag. (To be fair, it doesn't look that big when it is on me.)

While I was looking inside every diaper bag in the entire store, Chris and Carly headed toward the stuffed animals. Remember when we got Carly Leo the Lion for her first Christmas? Well, it looks like that same company now makes a whole line of toys in Leo form, including a little Leo. Carly brought him to me and said, "Look! Baby Leo!" I think I scared her I squealed so loud. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever, and Chris and I knew he was coming home. They also make a Leo chair, and Leo baby toys. I had no choice, I got Boy B a little Leo baby toy and Miss A a similar elephant. They each need one toy that isn't a hand-me-down from Carly, right? Oh, man, it was too much cuteness. That, and I'm really really emotional and sentimental these days. Let's not talk about how often I cry listening to country music.

[mommy Leo, baby Leo, and red shoes. what else could a girl need?]

Then on Monday, we headed to Ikea for my Christmas present shopping adventure.

All I felt like buying was storage bins and baby/kid stuff. Surprise, surprise, right?

But I did get myself a really cute and really comfy black and white striped blanket.

A person should probably not like a blanket this much.

Especially someone who is still in their twenties.

But it was a lovely purchase.

We also came home with an array of frames and bins and . . . 

heaven help us . . . 

a circus tent.

To say this girl is spoiled is an understatement, but we could not leave without that tent. Not because she was begging for it, but because we both wanted to get it for her so bad. And Ikea doesn't help the cause by selling things so dang cheap. The tent is a huge hit, and Carly started calling it the "party tent". I have no idea where she got that from, but it sure is outrageously cute.

But a word to the wise: before buying a party tent, ask yourself how much time you are willing to spend in said tent, and how many times a day you want to crawl in and out of the tent at 30 weeks pregnant with twins. Just a tip. We spend a LOT of time in the party tent.

One night, Chris was trying to avoid going in the tent because it is rather stuffy, and isn't exactly build for full-grown adults. Carly interpreted his hesitancy as fear. She went to him and wrapped her arms around him and said "Its ok, daddy. There's nothing bad. There are no bats and no ghosts." It was was just about the sweetest thing ever. And, of course, he ended up in the tent, where he remained a prisoner until bath time.

[managing to watch tv without having to leave her tent.]

Last but not least, we've discovered Play Dough. I have mixed feelings about this, but Carly loves it. She is unsure exactly how to proceed with it, though, and it turns into mostly me playing with it under her direction. She does smell it and says, "Mmmm. That smells good. Can I eat it?" I keep a pretty close eye on her to make sure she doesn't sneak any.

So, things are good in the C house.

I've got all sorts of projects going on.

I'm making baby blankets and burp cloths, finishing a bathroom we painted this summer before I got sick, cleaning out and reorganizing closets, and working to get our basement to an organized place where we might actually be able to use it as a playroom/guest area. Maybe. We'll see how it goes.

And I hit 30 weeks. Something about that sent Chris and I into a bit of a tizzy on Sunday. I wrote out a to-do list and a still-need list and we're working on crossing things off. The goal is to be ready by 34 weeks, because we have no idea how things will play out, and I don't want to be working all crazy at the end.

Life is lovely, don't you think?

xoxo.

last-ditch effort.

Hey peeps. I'm going to tell you a story, and you're going to share your wisdom if you have some. Then I'll delete this post, so all this potty talk doesn't remain in our family record forever. Ready?

Carly is starting to get the hang of the potty. She goes #1 pretty good, and the last few days have only had 1 or 2 accidents. We've made really good progress twice, and each time we've run into the same hurdle: poop. Carly won't poop in her little toilet. We can't tell exactly why, but she won't. She will hold it and hold it until you can see how uncomfortable she is and it gets unhealthy. The first time, we just encouraged her to get it out, and she went in her panties. This time around, she wouldn't go, so we put a diaper on her and Chris got her to run around until she really didn't have a choice but to let it out.

Here's the thing: she has learned that she should go to the bathroom in her potty. She likes the feeling of being successful at that and she is proud of herself and her big girl underwear. But she doesn't want to go #2 in the toilet. So instead she just doesn't go anywhere. And when she spends so much time holding in the poo, she stops thinking about the pee, and it leads to accidents. A lot of accidents. So it is a cycle. We'll make really good pee progress for a few days, she'll start to have to go #2, and then start holding it in, and the accidents start. And we have a day like today where all we had was accidents and frustration.

I'm afraid she is emotionally exhausted from all of this. I'm afraid she is only having negative experiences. And I'm afraid she'll close off totally to the idea. For the first time, I'm considering throwing in the towel and trying again this summer. For the first time, I'm wondering if she really was ready, or if I forced the idea. I don't know, its just we've gotten this far, I'd hate to back out now, but I also don't want this to get any worse, because I'm a grump, she's started acting out a bit, and poor Chris just tries to calm me down when I send him ticked off text messages about cleaning up pee.

If you have any advice, do share.
Thanks.
xoxo.

he thinks my waddle's sexy.

Last week, Chris and I were watching a movie. I paused it for a second to get something from the kitchen, and walked past him. I heard him chuckle. "Are you laughing at my waddling?" I asked. He replied, "You are so beautiful, and you are looking very pregnant." Luckily, I have a husband who thinks I'm extra beautiful when pregnant (either that, or he's a great liar). I proceeded to sing a fabulous version of "He thinks my waddle's sexy" to the tune of "She thinks my tractor's sexy", then continued on to the kitchen to get more to eat.

We're large and in charge around these parts.

And only getting larger.

[28 weeks comparison between Carly pregnancy and me last week; same shirt]

Off I went to the doctor this morning for yet another look at the kids. Miss A is a whopping 3 lbs 3oz (71st percentile for a singleton) and Boy B is 2 lbs 15 oz (49th percentile for a singleton). So I'm rocking over 6 lbs of baby right now and measuring 36 cm, at 29 weeks. I've also got sciatic nerve pain and round ligament pain working hand-in-hand to cause me to cry out in pain randomly and limp around like I have a peg leg. I've got one round ligament on the right side that causes a sharp, stabbing pain every time Miss A kicks or pushes on it. I've got bags under my eyes because I wake up about 5 times a night to make the mighty roll over to my other side when my hips start to burn, and I'm breaking out like a 14-year-old.

I'm a beautiful sight.

But you know what's a really beautiful sight?

These kids:

They are just darling, and I love watching them every month. Today was a bit frustrating though, as we found out that Boy B flipped, and is now breech. Miss A hasn't budged from her head-down position, waiting at the exit. She is ready to get this party over with. But Boy appears to be a trouble-maker already and is making things complicated. My doctor said we still plan on a "regular" delivery, since Miss A is first and bigger, which could possibly lead to Boy being delivered breech . . . the doctor would pull him out by his feet very quickly after his big sister comes. This is not something I want, and will be praying my little heart out for him to flip again if at all possible. Fingers crossed.

But they are healthy and growing and still cooking, and that's what matters most.

The number 1 question I get asked when chatting about the twins is if I can feel them separately. The answer is yes, but only because I know one is on the left and one on the right. Some movements in the middle I can't identify. Boy's movements do tend to be more jerky, Miss's are more fluid (for right now, might be because she is bigger). They often move just one at a time, so one side will be going crazy while the other side is still. And when they get moving at the same time . . . it can get a little wild. Sometimes it feels like they are rocking my body around. They also have the tendency to push out away from my body, creating two camel bumps, and it cracks me up even if it kills my round ligaments.

It doesn't show up well on camera, but here's an attempt:

We also get asked a lot how this is all going to work.

Well, there is a plan, and then there is what will happen. The plan is to put them in our room until they are sleeping consistently through the night and have a bedtime routine they can share with Carly. Our room is big, so we'll have the crib in there and a bassinet. We plan on them co-sleeping in the one crib. When they are old enough, we'll get a second crib, either through donation or just buying another one, and put all three of our beautiful children in the spacious master bedroom, and Chris and I will move to the second bedroom (which is a pretty good size, too). That is the plan. Who knows what will actually happen.

We've been given a second carseat, and have received boxes of boy clothes in the mail from outrageously generous friends. I pulled out Carly's old clothes, and we now have mountains of clothes and blankets, pink and blue, waiting to be washed and put into the dresser that Chris's parents are giving us.

To say we are blessed is an understatement, and I have literally been brought to tears several times over the last few weeks when I look at all we have been blessed with in preparation for these babies. We can't express out gratitude at the outpouring of love.

The first few weeks will be extremely experimental, as we adjust to schedules and nighttime feedings and having two newborns and a toddler. I expect pure chaos, but know we can also find joy in it all. 

[Carly with "baby brother and baby sister", as she calls them. She came up with that on her own.]

Getting the carseats ready, organizing clothes, cleaning out closets, making shopping lists and to-do lists, and this ever growing belly have shown me something in the last few days: this is real. There are really two babies coming. I still can't wrap my head around this. But as I've said before, my heart is full, and our family certainly wouldn't be complete without them.

[Brushing up on my swaddling skills with my first baby; she squealed "I'm in a cocoon!"]

Less than two months to go (probably).

The countdown is on.

potty talk.

[And by potty talk, I mean potty talk, so don't read if you don't want to hear about it.]

Let's talk about the potty. Oh, peeps, we've been talking about the potty non-stop in the C House. Day 2 was identical to day 1. Carly did not go to the bathroom in the toilet once. She peed all over the floor several times, as well as in her bus, in the kitchen, on her big dog Cooper. So much urine, people. And she held her #2 in until she was completely stopped up and then it was just a big fiasco until we got her to get it out (not in the toilet, mind you). Day 2 night, Chris and I decided we needed to adjust our strategy. We were doing the "3 Day Method", which was just not clicking. Carly knew how it was supposed to work, she just was not recognizing the signs her body was giving her. As she was peeing, she would inform us. Not before. Not once. It became such a negative experience, that by the end of Day 2, she was becoming completely resistant. Instead of replying with excitement, she would complete ignore our reminders. It was like she just didn't care anymore. And it was pretty apparent that she was afraid of the big toilet, even with her little seat on it.

So we decided to go a different route. We got a little toilet, something I really didn't want to do because 1) it makes it hard to go in public (which we experienced first-hand at church today), and 2) I really didn't want to have to clean it out. But it was needed. We got her a little pink one and it was a hit.

We also ramped up the rewards. Instead of just praise and stickers, we sat out a jar of gummy bears. And instead of reminding her to let us know when she had to go (which didn't work once with her), we took her and sat her on the toilet periodically.

Day 3.

Chris was upstairs cleaning the bathroom. I had to go (luckily, I'm pregnant, so I have lots of opportunities to teach by example), so I brought her in with me. She sat on her potty, I sat on mine. I went and then . . . people, she peed in her little potty. I think I freaked her out by how excited I was. I was just so happy that finally, we had something to smile about. She picked out her sticker, and got three gummy bears, and we ran upstairs to tell daddy. She responded really well, and it seemed like since she finally had a positive experience, and finally did it herself, she finally grasped how it worked. 

We had no accidents the second half of day 3 (Saturday), and I was feeling pretty good. The problem was Church was the next morning. We decided to have her wear a pull-up to church, and still take her to the bathroom periodically. But Carly was not going to go in those big toilets, and she held it the entire time. We got home and Carly told me she needed her pink potty. I tried to get her in the door fast enough, but when I was unlocking the door, she looked down and said "I go waters" (oh, we also started calling pee "waters", a term she coined. I wonder if she ever knew what we were talking about when we said "pee"). I was so frustrated, because we were so close, and she did such a good job and I felt like it was my fault she had an accident. Then, right before nap time, it happened again. She said she needed to go to the potty, but wanted her hands cleaned off first (because she just ate), and she had an accident while I cleaned her hands. If I had just taken her straight to the potty. I was so mad at myself this afternoon. I felt like she did her part and I didn't do mine, like I didn't give her the opportunity to succeed. And I didn't want her to feel like she was doing something wrong. It was all I could do to hold in the tears.

This afternoon and evening was met with another success, and more failures as we went to a friends house for a birthday get-together, and Carly was too distracted to think about her needs (thankfully we have friends who don't disown us when our child pees on their floor). I think it is all too fresh, and we need some more time at home getting used to the idea and really getting in the habit before we can venture far.

I've had to adjust my way of thinking with this potty-training thing. Going into it, I thought, we're going to do it, and she'll learn, and we'll get it done. Like it was a step. But it is not a step, at least not in the C House. Its an ongoing process. It really is a whole lifestyle change for Carly, and I don't think I really grasped that until the despair of Day 2. And I feel better about it now, thinking of it as something that she'll gradually learn, like mobility and talking. It has taken some of my anxiety away, and lightened the pressure. And I think Carly, who surely felt that anxiety and pressure, has responded to our new outlook.

The last few days have also taught me a little about being Carly's mom. It has taught me how important it is to adjust what you're doing as a parent to the individual. We started with a plan, and we realized it wasn't working with our girl, and that it was wearing on her sweet spirit and positive personality. It is the first of what I'm sure will be many experiences like this, whether it is helping her with problems at school, or dealing with a moody teenager. You have to adjust according to how your child works, and every child will work differently.  It is funny how I used to think nighttime feedings and swaddling were complicated. I'm learning this parenthood thing is just going to get more and more complicated as we go on.

The other day, Chris made a good point. "This must be how God feels," he said. He said that we want Carly to succeed so bad, and its hard to see her try and fail. And you think, If you'd just do it exactly how we told you to, it wouldn't be so hard and you'd be happier! If God wasn't perfect, He would probably think that as He watches us stumble through parts of our lives. I think a lot of experiences in parenthood teach us to understand God and His love for us, and I think that is why parenthood is a divine calling. I just never thought potty training would be one of them.

[P.S. I've thought about 700 times the last three days, How will I ever do this with two kids at once? For the record, I plan on potty training the twins when they are about 5.]

report from the trenches.

Last night we went to the store and Carly picked out a Lightning McQueen potty seat.

She also picked out Star Wars underwear ("with the robots on it!"),

but they only came in boys, so we talked her into Dora.

Today is day 1.

So far we've had absolutely no potty in the toilet.

And a lot of it all over the carpet.

Maybe that's a lie.

Maybe we've had two tinkles.

But I feel like I listen so hard and want it so bad, it could be my imagination.

We've got a good thing going, Chris and I.

We rush Carly into the bathroom, I sit her on the toilet and try to get her to go a little more and clean her up, and Chris breaks out the carpet cleaner. We're going to have some very clean carpet when this is over.

This afternoon the poor girl got discouraged.

She peed on the floor for like the third time in 20 minutes and started crying and said,

"I just want to go in the toilet!"

She knows exactly what she is supposed to do, and exactly how it is supposed to work.

She just seems to have a hard time identifying the signals from her body.

She seemed to get embarrassed and even downtrodden,

and it is pure heartbreak to watch your two-year-old get discouraged.

We are trying really hard to stay positive and upbeat.

Chris, of course, is better at it than I am.

I think she is "ready".

I wouldn't be trying if I didn't.

She is smart and communicative and "gets" it.

She just needs to catch on.

Honestly, she needs one successful, positive experience, and I think she'll fly.

But we just didn't get that today.

Hopefully we'll all recharge our positive attitudes and start fresh tomorrow.

Here's hoping tomorrow goes a lot better than today.

a whole new year.

We kicked the New Year off with a bang.

Well, a "bang" by our definition, being the laid-back, pregnant, toddler bunch that we are.

But it was the perfect way to send out 2011 and welcome in 2012.

On New Year's Eve we headed to the mall and made some Christmas returns, did a little shopping, rode the toys even though mommy wouldn't give in and put quarters in them, and threw pennies in the fountain.

Then we headed to Red Robin for lunch, where it turns out they have gluten-free hamburger buns. I had my first restaurant-style burger with a toasted greasy warm bun in 6 years. I was in heaven. Not only that, but I ordered a burger with a fried egg on it, something I've wanted to try since seeing it on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. So many dreams coming true all at once.

[Carly and mommy, perfectly defined on the last day of 2011; Carly is a spaz at Red Robin.]

That evening we carried on our tradition of a New Year's Eve finger-food picnic dinner and sparkling cider.

It was yummy, and I couldn't think of a single place I would rather be that evening than having a picnic in the living room with my 2 favorite people in the world. We watched Planet Earth during the picnic, and we think we'll make that a new tradition. It really is fascinating, and Carly loved watching the animals.

[Carly was very excited about the picnic on a blankie.]

Before we put Carly down, we counted down to "midnight" and said "Happy New Year!" and blew on little party horns. Carly loved it and afterwards cheered "Again!". So, of course, we did it again.

After she went down, I tried really hard to watch a movie with Chris, and caught a decent amount of it before I started drifting off. I got ready for bed, and we managed to watch the ball drop before I passed out.

On Monday, we were scheduled to head to the Ikea outside Detroit. But a winter storm was expected, so we decided to put it off. Instead, we headed to a local pet store that has lots of cool animals and a bridge with a little pond with huge fish in it. We looked at the fish and the birds and the bunnies and the mice and the snakes and the frogs and the spiders. We even saw Dory and Nemo. But no matter where we went, Carly just wanted to go back to the bridge and "the big shish!". The store in general was a hit, though, and a perfect little winter outing that I'm sure we'll use a few more times before spring arrives.

We've had a good start to this brand new year.

Resolutions?

I usually make some, though they vary in specificity and loftiness.

This year, I really only have one:

When 2012 comes to a close, I want to have a happy, healthy family of five that is close to each other and close to God, and that has had a year full of wonderful memories.

That's all that matters.

Oh, and I want to run my first real race. Just a 5k. I'm thinking a breast cancer one in October. I miss running so much, and can't wait to get back to the gym.

And I plan to lose around 30 to 40 lbs during the month of March.

Just saying.

Happy 2012.