Friday, December 2, 2011

battles and wars.

This is what happens when daddy dresses Carly in the morning:


Ha! Actually, Chris is good at dressing her, and it was sure nice to have him home to do it! This is actually what happens when your child demands a dress EVERY SINGLE DAY.

You see, in my long two years of parenthood, I've learned to pick my battles. When fall came and temperatures cooled, we set aside some money to get Carly fall clothes. I got her jeans and leggings and long sleeved shirts. But Carly had spent the majority of the summer in summer dresses, and she was not about to let them go. Every morning was a battle. Screaming and crying . . . needing a dress, not those lousy jeans. And every morning I would give in, thinking a) she'd get over it, and b) it wasn't worth the stress. Well, I was right on one account: it wasn't worth the stress. Is she over the dresses? No. Every morning, one of the first things she says, still standing in her crib, is "I need my dress!". So we put shirts and leggings on under the sleeveless summer dresses. Some of them are short enough now that they are kind of like tunic tops anyway. She looks ridiculous sometimes, but for the most part, we pull it off pretty well. I probably look like one of those moms who forces her girl to wear a dress every day. But I have searched high and low for simple cotton long sleeved dresses. Why is this such a foreign concept? Even sweater dresses have short sleeves. Bizarre. So long sleeved dresses are on the list for anyone who requested ideas for Carly, because we need to mix it up just a little, and our supplies are dwindling.

Another battle is still raging in the C House. Eating. Sweet, delicious dinner time has become a time of pure dread for this mama. Carly is a notoriously lousy eater. I always say she is a lousy eater and a mighty fine sleeper, so I'll take it. But as she gets older, I feel like she has to learn to eat, and this little battle has become an all out war.

She eats pancakes, fruit, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, and grape tomatoes without fail. Expand beyond that, and you're asking for a fight. I stay pretty basic for breakfast and lunch, but I'm not going to plan  dinner around those foods (umm . . . impossible), and like I said, she needs to learn to eat. If she only wasn't so stubborn. Yesterday was a prime example. I made spaghetti squash and steak. I've found one trick to get her to eat is include some sort of sauce to dip things in, because she likes sauces. So I make up her little plate and include ketchup to dip her steak in, and corn, which she usually likes. She eats about 5 kernels of corn, eats just the ketchup off her fingers, chugs her milk, and declares that she is done. This is common behavior, and often we say you have to eat so many bites, then you can get down. She wasn't having it. We were supposed to decorate the Christmas tree, which she was very excited about, so we told her she had to have two bites before we could decorate the tree. TWO bites, people. I even got her a new little plate with only two bites on it. She sat in that chair screaming for about an hour. Chris and I both finished our meals and left the kitchen, and she sat. Finally, it was bath time. We didn't get to decorate the tree. She never ate those two bites. We took her out of the chair, put her in timeout, showed her how now we don't get to decorate the tree, and she went straight to the bath, no worse for wear, really. I cannot wrap my head around being so adverse to eating TWO BITES that she would sit there for an hour. And this is not the first time we've had a dinner table stand-off, though it is the first time she didn't end up eating her bites. But this is a battle I think is more important than what she prefers to wear. Its about developing healthy eating habits and getting used to a variety of foods. Its about showing respect to the person who makes your meal. But at the same time, she is just two. I don't know. Any tips with this one? That doesn't involve preparing her a separate meal every night, because I'm lucky to get one meal on the table, to be honest.

[she is seriously in love with her "yellow smiley balloon". a dollar well-spent.]

The thing about our sweet Carly is she is so stinking smart and cute, and she knows it. I can't get enough of her: her words, her faces, her giggles, her ideas. She is pure joy in a dress. Except at dinner time.

7 comments:

Collin, Traci, Cam, and Alyssa said...

She sounds just like my Cameron. I have no advice really, we've had our fair share of stand-offs and Cameron has survived on milk alone more nights then I'd like because he just refused to eat (I don't prepare seperate meals either). I will say though that Cam is slowly (very slowly) starting to like more foods the older he gets. It's also getting a little easier to get him to try new things the older he gets because he's easier to reason with. Steak and spaghetti squash would be a no-go for him as well though. I will also say that Alyssa eats pretty much everything I give her, so not all kids are like that. Good luck, you're not alone.

Laura and family said...

I really think Gabe and Carly are so much alike. We have had MANY meal stand offs resulting in the loss of doing a fun activity. Like you said, it's amazing that they can't even do TWO BITES. Sad. Like the comment above me, it has gotten a little easier once he turned 3, but not as easy as I'd like ;)

Rebecca said...

I think what you did is great. It only took Peter about two times to realize that he wast going to be hungry when we did that. SO try again! And just keep bringing out new foods. Peter used to not eat a ton of things but over the past six months he has changed. She could need more time too I guess.

Brittany said...

First of all, your little girl is darling in those dresses.

Secondly, our little boy is about the same way when it comes to food. He is hooked on milk and getting him to even try anything let alone sit still long enough to eat is torture. My sister-in-law directed me to this article and it makes a lot of sense: http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/getting-toddlers-to-sit-at-the-table-for-dinner

Good luck!

Cami and Juan said...

A couple weeks ago, I picked up some colorful twisty straws at the dollar store. Amelia loves them. Then Juan had the brilliant idea to use them during dinner. She has to take 2 bites and then she can get a drink out of the straw - usually tap water. She goes for it for 3 or 4 rounds, and 6-8 bites for Amelia is a miracle! I've never seen her eat dinner so well. I'm still holding my breath to see how long this lasts, but 2 weeks in and she's still playing our game with us and trying all sorts of new food in the process.

The Gray Gang said...

I have a 4 year old and a two year old that are the same way... Only to top things off if we say you have to eat two more bites they with out fail throw it all up to prove a point. What has worked for us... We only serve water at meal times and they don't get milk (their favorite thing ever!) until they eat. Otherwise we sit down they chug their milk and their belly fills up and then they won't eat a bite. Good luck. Oh another thing that works with the oldest is... Since you're 4 you eat 4 bites of everything that is served.

Karen Thomas said...

don't feel like you have to post this. but i am going to add my two cents worth.

seems like from the beginning of time we have been trying to figure out the mind of a child. that's just it. they are children. trying to figure out what they like and don't like. and eating is no exception. remember, up until a little while ago all carly ate was milk. now she is faced with all these other choices and some just don't appeal to her. in time more and more will. she will not starve she will not be malnourished. having food being a battle field can't be fun. food should be fun not a punishment. and meal time should be pleasant for all of you. she has things she likes to eat. if it isn't too out of the way, make a few of those things for her or include things she likes in your dinner. i don't think you should make her a separate meal, just easy things you can put on a plate that you know she will eat. then she sees her success. you can offer her new things. if she refuses then let her see you and chris eat and enjoy them. this may peak her curiosity as time goes on. just talk and laugh at dinner. don't make it about the food and trying to get her to eat. ask her questions. talk back and forth to chris. the food is secondary. you are right. she is two. some things are scary (potatoes). but one day she will "love everything on her plate" xoxox