half home.

I've got a lot to say and remember. I've been waiting until I have some sort of clever way to put it or cute theme. Nope. Just a bunch of talking today.

We took our sweet Quinn home on Thursday, after 3 extra days in the hospital. They were long days. I was just about to go crazy. Quinn was ready to head home, so we decided to leave the hospital and go and come back to see and feed John as much as possible. It was a good decision. It is so nice to be home. Leaving was incredibly bittersweet. So wonderful Quinn was ready to come home, but so so hard to drive home with an empty car seat base. I cried on the way home.

The last few days have been some of the most exhausting of my life. We had Chris's mom here, and his sister is here for the weekend, but we're still balancing a toddler, a newborn at home, and going to the hospital. I go see John twice a day, trying to make it to his scheduled feedings in between nursing Quinn. It is busy, and sometimes I just feel like collapsing (which can sometimes be attributed to not enough food and breastfeeding/pumping enough for two babies). One huge blessing has been my recovery. It has been about 1000 times better than with Carly. I've still got to share the birth story (which sure is a fun story), but here we are a week later and I'm doing really well. The Lord has blessed me, as I would not be able to do what I need to for John if I was still unable to walk and was high on Vicadin like with Carly. I just need John home. I can't wait to get him here.

Speaking of John, things got a bit worse for him. He continued to drop weight while getting every other feeding through his tube. He had lost 8% of his birth weight, and they max they want is 10%. So they increased to two feedings in tube, then one with a bottle. They also increased the calories they were adding to his breastmilk. He responded really well and put on 2 ounces. Today he hasn't had to use the feeding tube once; all his feedings have been through the bottle (we no longer try nursing for the time being; we'll introduce it again when he's full-strength). It is such an emotional roller coaster, and it is easy to worry. But our doctors and nurses are really great. They assured me yesterday that it is all normal. The doctor said he is like a pan of brownies that looks done on the outside, but when you stick a fork in, its still gooey on the inside. John is some gooey brownies. He was taken out of the oven a little early and just needs to finish cooking. It was wonderful to get good news this morning; the doctor was happy to tell me he had gained weight. If he keeps gaining weight without using his tube, he can come home. I'm hoping by Monday. Fingers crossed. He is the sweetest boy, and my time with him at the hospital, while stressful, is so sweet. I just feed him (the stressful part; you want him to eat so bad) and then hold him and rock him as long as I want. I sing 'Nephi's Courage' and 'I Hope They Call Me on a Mission' and 'Called to Serve'. It is hard to leave him, but I believe he has angels watching over him. Heavenly Father doesn't leave him comfortless. Every time I leave, I whisper, "Say hi to the angels for me."

[look who has eyes! handsome boy.]

[sleep smiles.]

And then there is Quinn. Her head of fuzzy soft black hair is just about the cutest thing in the whole world. She has two grandpas with black hair, but since Carly and John look like Chris and I, it is funny to look at her and know she is ours. She is so incredibly beautiful, I can't get over it. She is a great nurser, and getting better to the point that she isn't very good at taking her supplement of calorie fortified breastmilk, which I suppose is fine as long as she has gained weight at her weight check next week. After nursing she stretches her hands up in fists over her head. We call it her "Victory!" pose. She sleeps well, of course waking to eat, but what newborn doesn't? That is a good sign that she isn't too tired to eat. She had her first well-child doctor's visit on Friday, and is up to a whopping 5 lbs 7 oz. She checks out perfectly. She even rolled all the way over to her side, and the doctor joked that rolling over at 6 days old after being born at "thirty-five and six sevenths" would be pretty impressive. It is so sweet to have her in our home.

[flashing the peace sign.]

[waiting for the doctor.]

[mommy and Q. no, there is not a third baby in there.]

Carly is adjusting slowly but surely. She is a little disinterested, but says hi and will talk about or to "Baby Quinn". She will also inform us that "Baby John is at the hospital". And today she and I went on a mommy/daughter date to Target and she pointed to the carseat bases and said "That one is for Baby Quinn, and that one is for Baby John." Tonight she also helped me wipe Quinn and played with her a little. I think she is shaping up to be a really wonderful big sister. She'll enjoy it even more when the babies react to her in some way.

[giving Quinn hugs. love those little legs sticking out.]

[helping supplement.]

We're doing well, and pulling it together, a little at a time.

We can't wait to have John home and get our life going as a family of 5 under one roof.

xoxo.