I call her "Sweet Thing".

Wouldn't you?

A Place for Carly

{Thanks for the input on my last post. Anyone who wants to add is still welcome.

We just got back from the pediatrician. Carly has a cold, which is good news

because I was starting to worry it was something more serious than that.}

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A long long time ago when Carly was still "Lil", I took pictures of her room and planned to post them. I was going to title it "A Place for Lil". But I wanted to wait until the room was completely done. In order for it to be done, it had to have the name letters on the wall. But I couldn't make the name letters until I knew the name. And we decided not to choose the name until she was born. Therefore, I could not post the pictures with the title "A Place for Lil". So here are the pictures, with a more appropriate title.

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I had a lot of fun putting Carly's room together.

We were on a pretty tight budget, but I'm very happy with how it turned out.

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View of the first side as you walk in.

Yes, the glider is blue. But its the best $67 bucks we've ever spent.

The room gets beautiful light during the day.

Its my favorite room in our apartment.

And the cleanest.

Little side table complete with baby book, Carly journal, and reading materials.

This picture makes the wall look huge.

The letters actually take up the space rather nicely.

This is as crafty as I get, folks.

The crib bedding is the prettiest shade of teal.

In this room I did teal and pink, and
I'll do teal and chocolate brown if a boy ever comes along.

Craigslist changing table. I waited forever for a white one, but this one came along for $20 and its in really nice condition so we got it. I love it. So many people say a changing table is unnecessary but I use it so much. And I think with the white baskets it still "flows" with the rest of the room.

Same deal here as with the letters.

The mirror and frames actually fill this wall well, even though it doesn't look like it.

The above picture made me laugh. That was taken before Carly arrived.
This is what it looks like nowadays. A lot more messy.The frames on either side of the mirror have pictures of Chris and I when we were little.

Anyway, its pretty simple, but we love it.

A great place for Carly.

I can't wait until she actually sleeps in there.

Merci

I was thinking about my little blog universe the other day and how awesome you guys all are. I love your comments and all the advice you've given me through my pregnancy and now into motherhood. You're advice on the sleeping was golden: sometimes its still hard to get her to sleep, but now we start the process early and she's slept between 6 and 9 straight hours every night for the past 10 days. You guys are all so great and its hard to imagine trying to do this crazy mother thing without people to turn to who are doing the same thing.

That being said, this clueless mother needs more advice from all you experts.

a) I'm pretty sure Carly has a cold. She is very wheezy and sneezing all the time. Any at home cold remedies or tips? She had been unusually fussy and just not very happy.

b) But here's the big one. The girl is hungry all the time. I breast feed her and she's eat for anywhere from 15-45 minutes. Then 15-30 minutes later she's screaming for more food. I really feel like I spend most of my day sitting on the couch feeding her. I know I'm producing milk because its in her mouth and all over her face (ha ha). But she'll stop eating and refuse to eat more and then be hungry again so soon. And in between she's restless. She never seems calm and content. So I tried to supplement with formula and it must taste as gross and it smells because she wouldn't drink it. I do pump occasionally and Chris gave her a pumped bottle earlier tonight and she guzzled it really fast and wanted more (I was at mutual). Now we're trying to give her a pumped bottle again and she's not taking it. Anyway, I know right now she has a cold, but I've pretty much felt like I just feed her all day for the last 3 weeks. Its impossible to leave the house because she starts screaming for food as soon as we do. It sounds like I'm exaggerating, but Chris will vouch for me. Anyway, any ideas. This is a hard one--our pediatrician's office will likely be getting a phone call soon.

Anyway. I just love Carly so much and want her to be happy. It hurts my heart to think she's hungry and sad all the time. Today at mutual I was gone for only 2 hours and when I got home it was so good to see her--like I'd been gone for days. I'm smitten.

12:30

Today by 12:30 I . . .

fed Carly several times.

went on a 45 minute work-out walk.

finished the name letters for Carly's room (almost).

ate . . . twice!

did tummy time (well, Carly did).

watched Ellen (love that show).

took a shower.

gave Carly a bath.

Yesterday at 12:30?

We were just waking up.

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Funny how this stay-at-home mom thing works.

A Look Inside . . .

6 p.m.

The C House.

Any given week day.

They both lead exhausting lives.

Chris is proposing his thesis next week.

And Carly eats all day.

Its rough for both of them.

I fit into my fat jeans.

Let's play a game.

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Take a guess.
Which picture is me at 18 weeks pregnant, and which is 5 weeks post-partum?

Kinda sick how they look about the same. Ok, not sick. Its only been 5 weeks since I had a human inside me, so I should give myself a break. I should feel good. One week after having Carly, my mom and I went to this baby boutique and left Carly at home with Chris and my dad and brother. The lady at the boutique asked me what I was having, a boy or girl. "I had a girl a week ago" I responded. The lady recovered rather well, saying it was great that I was out and about already. The thing is, Heidi Klum returned to the Victoria's Secret runway 8 weeks after giving birth. That means I only have 3 weeks until should be in Victoria's Secret runway shape, right?

[This picture has been edited for inappropriate content.]

I've never had real body image issues. In junior high I was a bit chunky, but I had all sorts of other hair, skin, style issues it didn't make a difference. But in high school by the time I started caring more I was active in all sorts of sports and was actually really skinny. Sometimes I look at pictures of myself from high school and think I should have eaten a little more or something. Then I turned around and got married at 19 and continued the whole workout thing. I never got further than 5 ish (ok, maybe 7) lbs away from my "ideal weight" whatever that means. Then came December 2008. I peed on a stick and my life changed in more ways then I would ever imagine. One of the craziest of these changes would be the trauma my body was about to be put through. My 9 months of nausea coupled with full-time work made it nearly impossible to keep up a work-out routine. Four days before I had Carly I had gained {drum roll please . . . . } 30 ish lbs give or take a few (since I lost some during my first 11 weeks). At three weeks post-partum I made a trip to Chris's lab to weigh myself and found I was 10 lbs off my lifetime "goal weight". Those 10 lbs don't seem to be going anywhere.

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Please tell me I'm not the only one with "fat jeans". You know, the pair that is a little looser that you wear when trying to be extra comfortable or when you're on your period and feeling a little bloated and miserable or when you just got back from vacation where you ate out WAY too much? Those are my fat jeans. And I actually fit in them now. And I don't mean with the help of the Bella Band. I mean they are completely zipped and buttoned. And maybe even a little loose. It had been quite a while since I had worn jeans. So that was a nice step for my mental health.

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Ok, I'm just blathering. Here's the point. I thought I never felt worse than I did pregnant. If you felt beautiful pregnant, please leave a comment, because kudos to you. But I felt huge and really really tired all the time. But at least I had a baby inside of me. Now all chub that was once stretched around her is now cushioning me. And here's something that freaks me out: under the chub is soft too. I used to be able to feel ab muscles under any extra chub. But my ab muscles are all stretched out or something, because my tummy is soft all the way through. Its creepy. I can't even touch my own stomach.

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Ok, still blathering. When, if ever, did you feel like your body was the same as before as giving birth? And of course you may not look exactly the same because that part is extra hard, but when did you feel good and normal again? Especially those of you who breastfeed. I just feel all out-of-whack from this whole ordeal. I don't expect myself to be runway ready at 8 weeks (I'll need at least 12, to be honest) but I think I'll make little goals. Mostly I just want to feel normal again physically (I'm doing rather well emotionally these days) and I don't think I can go by numbers on the scale, because I'm sure breastfeeding puts that all out of whack (Thats the second time I've used that expression in one paragraph. wow). There is all sorts of volume there that didn't exist before. But little goals. Like fitting into my fat jeans! Maybe I'll fit into my regular jeans by the time fall weather hits in mid-October. And my skinny jeans by Christmas. I'm not about being all super skinny, but healthy and feeling well would be nice. And did you see the Biggest Loser last night. Chris and I talked about how its obvious that body image impacts your emotional well-being. I just taught a Young Women's lesson about taking care of your physical body. It talked about the importance of eating healthy and getting rest and exercise. Not about being skinny, but about taking care of yourself. Its obvious the Lord cares about how you take care of yourself, because He wants us to be happy. Like, all the way happy. Even happy with ourselves how we feel about ourselves.

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So really what I'm saying is I'm excited for my 6 week post-partum check-up on Friday so I can start working out again. I miss it. I did go on my first official "I'm going to work out on purpose and therefore going to wear a sports bra" work out on Monday. It was nice but I got a side ache embarrassingly quickly.

And Carly wasn't much help.

The end. I'll spare you from any more.

I shouldn't be blogging under the influence of newborn.

one month old.

As of yesterday.

Its amazing how time can fly and crawl simultaneously,

as it has been the longest and shortest month of my life.

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Carly, at one month you . . .

*have abnormally large hands and love to have them by your face and stretch your fingers out one at a time.

*have no love lost for tummy time.

*love your daddy. You love to grip his shirt and sleep on his chest. I can tell you are excited when he gets home every evening.

*love when I tickle your cheek with my hair. You're not as big a fan of me sticking my hair up your nose, which I do occasionally for kicks.

*gag on pacifiers. I'm still working on getting you to take one.

*like to party late into the night, then sleep in until noon.

*are very curious. You like to be walked around the apartment so you can look at everything.

*have your daddy's eyes, but your hair can't decide if it wants to be red or brown.

*are the most beautiful, smartest, awesomest baby born in the history of the world. No really, you are. Me and your daddy both agree on this one.

Happy one month, Car. We're glad you joined us.

A Little Help

My child won't sleep. Ok, I know she's only a month old (almost) and babies just don't sleep. But this is her:

She will sleep for long periods of time during the day. She would sleep all day if I let her. The pediatrician suggest I don't let her sleep more than 2 hours at a time during the day and make sure I feed her plenty often so she's getting the nutrition she needs. So I've been following that advice and got two good nights out of it.

The thing is, she doesn't really cry or fuss. She will when she gets hungry. Then I'll try to feed her and she'll eat for a few minutes and then pull away and refuse to eat anymore. Then she'll just be content and wide awake . . . but SCREAM if you put her down. And she will do this for 5 hours. Its 1 am and we've been at this since 9:30. I can't get her to eat for more than a few minutes and I really can't get her to even be tired.

Any tips? Also, I know there are a million and one books out there for getting babies to sleep. Anyone have one that they actually found works well? I know, she's still young. But I feel like this is crazy. Is this crazy? Or maybe its normal. I don't know. I'm tired.

The evidence. (Ps. Don't mind the non-sense I'm saying or the ridiculous voice I'm saying it in. Babies have the effect on people.) This video was taken at 3 am. Wide awake. But very cute, no?

Mom and Dad

That's us.

I know. I don't get it either. I'm still wondering what force decided it was a good idea to let us be "mom and dad". I've often wondered what I did to deserve our precious Carly. The answer? Nothing. The Lord is very consistent at blessing us with things we don't deserve.

The Mama.
My full-time gig as mother has been quite the wake-up call (literally). Carly is always here. Like, she doesn't leave. And she always needs me. Like, really needs me. Not just "could you come here for a second?" but like "I'm going to scream unless you feed me every hour or 2". It was rather intense to begin with, and I believe I had a normal amount of baby blues. I think any new mom could agree the initial weeks of trying to get a grip on your new reality and hardly sleeping at all puts you in a bit of a spin. Today, four weeks later, I think the spin is just starting to slow down. Carly is me greatest source of joy. I spend a great amount of time laughing at her, because she is totally hilarious. I also spend a great amount of time crying. Ok, it used to be out of exhaustion, but these days its love and a little bit of bittersweetness (is that a word?) as she grows out of her newborn clothes and packs on the pounds. The other day I was rocking her and she was looking up at me with her wide beautiful Chris-eyes and I just started crying because she was so perfect and she was looking at me, because I'm her mom. So surreal. So my house is still a mess, I still find it hard to go anywhere, and my eyebrows are in serious need of a plucking. But I'm happy. Eventually I'll catch up on life, but for now, I'm trying enjoy every second, because she is getting way too big way too fast.

Baby Daddy.
Carly arrived at just about the busiest time in Chris's whole life. Ever. He's got several research projects, running The Center, Thesis work, and then school started when she was a week old. Its been a little nuts for him and he is beyond heroic with everything he has on his shoulders. Carly absolutely worships him. When he has her she just snuggles into his chest and grips his shirt with her hands and goes right to sleep. I don't know what it is, but her can get her to fall asleep any time. I think she just loves daddy snuggles. School is going well for him. Its hard when research depends so much on other people, many of whom fail to show up or do their part. Things are crazy and we are both looking forward to next semester, when things should be infinitely calmer. In the coming months Chris will have to add PhD applications and school visits to his list of responsibilities (though, hopefully some of his research will be done at that point). So far, he is looking at applying to Penn State, Michigan State, and University of Utah (I have no favorite, I promise, ha ha). I think there is another one or two in there, but those are the ones that are significant enough for me to remember. Anyway, Chris often says he's never been busier, nor more tired, but he has never been happier. Carly has that effect on people.

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Now, since you've all waited so patiently and read all about us, here's what you really want. A few updated pictures of Carly:

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The girl has giant hands and absolutely loves them. She wouldn't let me swaddle her with her arms at her side, and these days she refuses to be swaddled at all.

Mama and Carly having a tender choking moment.

Have I mentioned how much she loves her daddy?

Chris isn't a huge fan of the giant flowers. Neither am I, really. Medium sized flower is more my thing. But this is really cute, no?

Cubs fan . . . tired of all the losing.

One of my all time favorites. She is such a beauty. She always sticks her pinky out like that and I just love it. It will make me so sad when she grows out of that habit.
Mama and Carly during her third bath. The first two were a little traumatic so we didn't get pictures.

All ready for her first time to church. At almost 4 weeks old. Yeah, I'm a slacker.

Ok, there you go. Hopefully I'll be able to get back on the regular blogging train. Even if my house stays a mess.