A and B.

The Story.

This morning I dropped Carly off with Chris on campus and headed to my typical every-four-weeks doctor appointment. It was all routine. I went off my anti-nausea meds, and have been doing better, but have still felt sick, so he said to go ahead and try the Unisom/B6 combo (which many of you recommended. thank you!). Then he went to measure my tummy. At 18 weeks 4 days, it was measuring 24 cm. "I feel so much bigger than with my first one," I informed him. Then, while listening to the heartbeat, he checked for 2. But he only heard one. He asked if I was 100% sure about my last period. I was 100% sure. He decided to do a quick "take a peek" ultrasound to see if my the dates were somehow off and I was further along then we thought.

I went into the ultrasound room. The tech squirted the jelly and asked if I wanted to know what I was having. Kill me, people. Yes, I wanted to know so badly, but Chris wasn't there, so of course I would wait for the anatomy scan. But she had some other information for me. "Well," she said. "That explains why you are measuring big. You have two babies in there."

[tops of their heads. took this on my phone, I'll scan more later.]

"Two babies?" I asked. Then I started hyperventilating and tears streamed from my eyes. To be honest, I wasn't totally surprised (something I'll talk about in a minute), but it is still completely life-altering to be told you're expecting twins. She checked them real fast and found my due date was about right. They both had beautiful heartbeats that were about the same heart rate, which is probably why the doctor couldn't hear two different heart beats.

They are beautiful. And there are two.

I headed out to the check-out desk to change my anatomy ultrasound appointment (since there are two, the scan will last twice as long). I informed the nurse and I must have looked shocked because she and another nurse laughed and said I'd be ok. Then she asked my name and I said "my name?" I honestly couldn't remember right then. She asked about a time for the scan, and I had to call Chris to see if it would work for him. Yes, Chris found out he was going to have twins over the phone. "There are two babies," I told him. We set the new appointment for one day earlier (November 9th . . . but, hey, a day is a day!) and we'll find out what we're having then. I'm going crazy wondering what they are, so by they I'll probably be certifiably insane.

I picked Carly up and shared the pictures with Chris. Neither of us had much to say. We are in joyful shock, and I've been in a haze most of the afternoon. As he strapped Carly in to her carseat I pointed out, "We can't even fit three carseats in here." The first of many realizations we'll be having over the coming months.

One Million Thoughts.

My head is spinning and my heart is full. I'm shocked, but not surprised. I have felt like there were two for sometime. Maybe it was wishful (?) thinking. I thought because I was so much bigger this time, and so much sicker this time, that there had to be a reason. But lots of people get big and sick and only have one baby. But something just kept whispering the idea of twins to me, and the thought wouldn't leave my mind.  I joked about it with Chris often, which is probably good because maybe it got him used to the idea. It got me used to the idea. I just wasn't that surprised when she told me. I'll chalk it up to the one time in my life mother's intuition was successful. I read online that only about 20% of mothers of twins report increased sickness. I'd like to think I'm a part of that 20%, because that makes the idea of someday having number 4 (maybe, in a long, long time) more possible. And don't think I haven't thought of this as "two for the price of one", because even if it sounds bad, I definitely have.

[sorry these pictures are kind of ghetto. 18 weeks with Carly (left) and the twins (right)]

That doesn't mean I'm not terrified. We thought we'd have one more baby in school and wait a while for number 3. We already had what we needed for a baby, so we could manage one more. Two more, at the same time, was in no way part of the plan. We have a car problem, and a bedroom problem (probably can't fit twins in our closet), and a supplies problem (we only got one infant carseat and crib the first time around, go figure). The logistics are enough to drive me crazy. So right now I'm just not thinking logistics. I'm just thinking about two sweet babies.

And then there is all the worry. I worry about the babies. They are healthy now (as far as we can tell), but multiple pregnancies carry an increased risk of preterm labor and premature delivery, bedrest, and other complications. I'm already worried about carrying these babies as long as they need to be carried. And then how are they going to get out? Good grief.

And I'm worried about Carly. Her world was already going to be rocked. She is the center of our universe, and she gets a whole lot of attention. How is she going to handle a baby invasion of not just one, but two babies? I don't want her to feel ignored. I don't want her to feel like I don't have time for her, or the babies are taking over. I always want her to know how much we love her and how she is just as important as the twins. I'm sure it will take a conscious effort, but I pray we can make the transition without too many bumps and bruises. She is my BFF, and I hope she always knows that.

More than anything, we feel joyful and blessed. It is still crazy to think about, and I don't think it has really sunk in, but for me, these babies are miracles. We have no history of twins in our families. It is just completely God's will, and that alone tells me we can do this. (Sometimes I have no idea what God is thinking . . . .). I don't know how we'll do it, but we will. And we'll have three beautiful children to make every day worth living.

Yay for babies.
xoxo.