[drooling over this little beauty. wish they'd let me sell plasma so I could save up for it.]
We've had an interesting few days. I spent Thursday in a complete haze, not truly processing our big blessing. Chris left for a conference dark and early Friday morning. When I woke up on Friday, my warm fuzzy haze was gone. I was left with nothing but panic. I cried by myself. I cried with Carly. I cried to my dad. I cried to my mom. I felt completely overwhelmed and incapable. Friday night Carly and I went to our ward Halloween party and a friend said to me that she thought that the Lord is really honoring my motherhood, because He wouldn't send this blessing to someone who couldn't do it, or to someone He didn't trust to do it. She doesn't know it, but she was an answer to scared prayers.
What is truly amazing is how quickly and smoothly questions are being answered. From cars to cribs to clothes, family and friends are quick to offer advice and help. I don't know exactly why I thought we'd be doing this alone. Because we definitely won't be doing this alone. Along with offers of material goods, we've had lots of offers to help, and have two grandmas already making room in their schedules to come be our twin team. We are so blessed to be surrounded by incredibly generous and loving people.
We feel calm (mostly). We feel at peace. We know these babies are supposed to come now, and they are supposed to come together. And if an angel came down and offered to send them 3 years apart instead, I wouldn't take him up on it. Because this is right. And now that we're out of the fog, we can keep on keepin' on and find joy in this crazy journey. Its strange to think this is our new norm: planning for twins, preparing to be a family of 5, and praying for 2 healthy babies.
xoxo.
5 comments:
It's me again, your annoying new blog follower. :) I hope you don't get sick of my comments, but if you do, just tell me.
My parents/grandparents used to tell my twin sister and I that we came to earth together because we were best friends in heaven and couldn't bare to be apart. Even if they just told us that to be cute, I still think it's true. I can't imagine not having my sister by my side growing up. It's awesome that you have already had feelings to confirm that your babies are supposed to come down together. You're already one step ahead just for realizing that.
Good luck, again!
Ooooo, I like that stroller! Way nice.
Erin,
I've thought a lot about you guys lately. I agree with what your friend said. If anyone can do this you guys can. I think you guys are an awesome family and you are an amazing mom. It just shows that the Lord thinks you are double amazing too! Everything will work out and be wonderful and you will have an awesome story to add to your life. Those little twinners are blessed to be joining you all.
We're thinking of you and sending you love from TN.
Warning: long comment ahead.
CONGRATSSSSS!!!! Wow. I'm so glad you commented on my blog today. When you mentioned twins I'm like 'what??' So I hurried and clicked on your blog and read the news. I wasn't at your blog too long ago so that's why I was super surprised. Anyway, what a CRAZY turn of events for you. I'm sure you have lots of advice coming your way from friends and family but I'm going to give mine although you haven't asked. :)
First, the feeling of fear rather than excitement you felt in the ultrasound...totally normal. The tears you've shed alone as well as with others...totally normal. I'll never forget the rush of emotion I had after our sonogram. Clark found out on the phone as well. You want so badly to be excited but fear totally takes over and you start running through every possible worse-case scenario. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. Not because I didn't want the babies...just that I was in utter shock and totally scared. Point is, cry all you want girl. Twice the hormones = twice the tears. You'll cry up until they come and then you'll cry because you'll have to actually take both of them home at some point. :) So glad to hear that your moms are willing to help.
I'm sure it feels nice to know why you've been so sick. There were times I was so sick I couldn't move (which I'm sure you've experienced). Can't remember if you said you never threw up. I didn't either. When the evening came...all I wanted to do was crawl in bed because I was so nauseated. Hopefully you will get past it and be able to function normally. I didn't like taking meds so I didn't do them altogether. By about 20 weeks I could function.
Let me just tell you, you'll hear every terrible story there is about twin pregnancies and births. DON'T google anything. Seriously. Ignorance is bliss in a multiples pregnancy. That's because every woman is so different and you just might be a ROCKSTAR and go as far as your doctors want you to. Several twin moms I am friends with have NO complications, went to 38 weeks, and had two beautiful babes. One even gave birth naturally because both were head down. Anyway, just take others' story for what their worth and try to forget about them because you will write your own story. That's what I always had to remind myself. Obviously mine was really crappy but that's what I'm saying, YOu just never know and reading crap off the internet is of NO HELP. I stopped at about 8 weeks because it was just too scary and overwhelming. I think you'll be fine. ESPECIALLY because it's a second pregnancy. Seems like multiple moms who do good already have a kid. Maybe it's because your body isn't so shocked as to what's going on. Your body has been pregnant before so it will just do what it should! Positive thinking right?
Next, don't feel bad you can't buy that stroller. After one year, everyone sells their snap and go's and gets something else. It's never used for a long time because it's so bulky and it probably would be difficult to fit in your trunk along with all the other stuff you'll have. Just don't feel bad. Get second-hand stuff. You won't regret it because lots of time you'll only used one of two bouncers or one of two swings or whatever. You never know what you're baby will like. Also, we didn't do this but just co-bed your babies and that will eliminate the need for a second crib for at least six months. Gives you more time.
Did you make sure to ask the sonographer to make sure there wasn't three?? :) Just teasing. The nice thing is that you are over halfway done with your pregnancy now because full-term just changed! Like you said, people come out of the woodwork and just practically throw stuff at you. Say yes to every ward member who offers a meal, even if your fridge is stocked. Freeze what you can because one day the meals won't be coming anymore and you still won't want to cook so freezer meals are perfect!
Anyway, I could go on and on but I'm sure you'd rather hear from a twin mom what the best things are to do. Obviously our situations are a bit different but really, we're all in the same boat. I will pray for you and that Carly will be an angel these next 18 weeks. You'll be great. Take advantage of Priesthood blessings. I had several which brought major relief. I also wrote on my fridge, "my babies will be born healthy and strong." Weird but seriously, positive thinking and looking at it everyday just reminds you that you'll be ok.
Ok, I'm done. let me know if you need anything. You're awesome. Can't wait to go on this journey with you!
P.S. I would've emailed you but I just started writing and decided to go this route instead. Sorry it was so long.
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