one-third and a week.

I don't know if you heard, but my first trimester ended a week ago.

It's kind of a big deal.

We are now just over a third of the way there, and its amazing how time can simultaneously drag and fly. Being sick causes it to drag. Having a toddler causes it to fly. And I'm thinking the holidays will, too. I've officially decided March is the best time to have a baby.

I went to the doctor on Friday. It was a pleasant visit. There is nothing as heartwarming and reassuring as hearing that tiny heartbeat coming from your tummy. I always think it sounds like a train. I recorded it on my phone, and listen to it on occasion to remember why I'm doing this. That little choo choo train is why I'm doing this.

The second time around has been a different experience, for sure. With Carly, it was all-consuming. I mean, I was working full time at a desk job, and when things were slow I had nothing to do but dwell, especially after finishing my school work to graduate from BYU (how on earth did I do that?). This time around, I have Carly as a full-time job, and now that the sickness has been giving me a break occasionally, I even find myself forgetting I'm pregnant. Until I bend over to pick something up and my pants cut into my abdomen. With Carly, she was coming into our family and changing everything: how we'd live, how we'd sleep, how I would be spending my entire life. Our family was completely transforming around her. But Deux is coming into this already existing puzzle; he/she is just a missing piece.

Another difference? I'm showing. I started showing at about 10 weeks I think, maybe earlier. With Carly I was barely showing when I found out she was a girl at 19 weeks. I wore my regular pants up through I think 22 weeks. If I had maternity pants that weren't capris, I'd already to tempted to pull them out. This babe is making herself known much faster, but I hear that's normal the second time around. I was nervous about there being two in there, and at the doctor I said "Make sure there is only one heartbeat" and the nurse practitioner relied "Oh, I wouldn't be able to hear if there were two at this point." Thank you, ma'am, that's reassuring.

We find out if we're having a boy or a girl on November 10th. Way later than I wanted. I will be 20 weeks 4 days. I know, poor me. The doctor prefers to wait until 20 weeks to make sure and see everything in working order, so I guess that is good. And that way the sex will be more obvious if we get a peek. And that way Chris can actually go, since I'm waiting all the way until Thursday that week to get it. So while my bubble was totally burst after hoping I'd find out soon, I guess 5 more weeks won't kill anyone. I guess. The good news is we found a single boy name that we both really like. I've liked it but never brought it up because I thought he wouldn't. I texted it to him and he said "I actually really like that! Sounds like an archaeologist." Ha, whatever works right?

I also got my first awkward semi-rude pregnancy comment this week! Carly and I were at the second-hand store and I got her this little wagon for 90 cents (best 90 cents ever) and she was pulling it out the door. She kept looking back at it excitedly, and was walking really slow. But I just let her walk and do her thing. We got out of the way so a guy could pass us. He looked at her and at me and said "Well, if you don't have your hands full yet, you sure will soon." Ummm, thank you? That's very helpful.

Another exciting difference between this time and last (woah, I'm bouncing all over the place, sorry) is I've already felt movements. Carly I didn't feel until kind of late because a) I didn't know what I was looking for, and b) I had an anterior placenta. So this time it was fun to feel Deux just before 14 weeks. That is by far the most rewarding part of pregnancy, and feeling him/her earlier has been a nice tender mercy.

I've thought a lot about Carly as a big sister. The day we got the positive pregnancy test, I came out of the bathroom and looked at Carly and it was like all the sudden she was new in my eyes. She was a big sister, and her potential to influence her little sibling(s) for good is infinite. She is made of gold. She has an incredible soul and loving spirit and is just inherently helpful and caring. She is also fun and spunky. The very best components to make a big sister. Its like all the sudden my love for her has grown even more, not just because of what she is, but because of what she has to potential to become.

Cheers to a third of the way.