Hey peeps. I'm going to tell you a story, and you're going to share your wisdom if you have some. Then I'll delete this post, so all this potty talk doesn't remain in our family record forever. Ready?
Carly is starting to get the hang of the potty. She goes #1 pretty good, and the last few days have only had 1 or 2 accidents. We've made really good progress twice, and each time we've run into the same hurdle: poop. Carly won't poop in her little toilet. We can't tell exactly why, but she won't. She will hold it and hold it until you can see how uncomfortable she is and it gets unhealthy. The first time, we just encouraged her to get it out, and she went in her panties. This time around, she wouldn't go, so we put a diaper on her and Chris got her to run around until she really didn't have a choice but to let it out.
Here's the thing: she has learned that she should go to the bathroom in her potty. She likes the feeling of being successful at that and she is proud of herself and her big girl underwear. But she doesn't want to go #2 in the toilet. So instead she just doesn't go anywhere. And when she spends so much time holding in the poo, she stops thinking about the pee, and it leads to accidents. A lot of accidents. So it is a cycle. We'll make really good pee progress for a few days, she'll start to have to go #2, and then start holding it in, and the accidents start. And we have a day like today where all we had was accidents and frustration.
I'm afraid she is emotionally exhausted from all of this. I'm afraid she is only having negative experiences. And I'm afraid she'll close off totally to the idea. For the first time, I'm considering throwing in the towel and trying again this summer. For the first time, I'm wondering if she really was ready, or if I forced the idea. I don't know, its just we've gotten this far, I'd hate to back out now, but I also don't want this to get any worse, because I'm a grump, she's started acting out a bit, and poor Chris just tries to calm me down when I send him ticked off text messages about cleaning up pee.
If you have any advice, do share.
Thanks.
xoxo.
8 comments:
I had the same problem with my oldest. It took nearly 5 months for him to consistently go poop in the toilet. I started ignoring the accidents completely. I always encouraged the toilet but never went back to the diapers one day after about 4.5 months he accidentally pooped when he was on the toilet and it was all up hill from there. Me personally- I wouldn't put her back in diapers... I bet it will happen on accident and it will be golden from then on out. Good luck. It's no fun, but it is worth it.
I really don't know because I didn't have this problem, my little boy didn't have the control to hold in the #2 when we started potty training, so the fact that she can is a good thing in my opinion. If I were you I'd fill her full of juice and raisins so she doesn't get backed up and just keep trying. Maybe take the potty into the family room when you can tell she has to go #2(if it isn't already,) strip her down, turn on a movie, and let her sit. Maybe she just can't relax enough. Again, I'm no expert, that's just what I would try. Good luck!
For a little while, Olivia was scared to poop because she thought it was a snake that was going to bite her bum. We really had to talk about it and let her see other people's poop (gross I know but it did help). We also did like the last person said and let her watch a show and sit on her potty in the living room while she tried to do her business. She quickly realized that pooping in the toilet wasn't going to hurt her and was fine. I have heard of other kids with the poop fear, I would google it and I know they have a ton of ideas on potty training sites, I remember reading them when we were training. But don't quit!!!! If she is peeing, then she is ready. It is frustrating but will be so worth it!!! Good luck!!! Sorry I was so long winded!!
Tayden had the same problem. The doctor's recommendation was the same as Traci. Fill her full of fiber and help soften it up. We also read stories to T or let him watch a video of our phone. Sometimes he took his blanket in with him. We did anything we could to make it as less scary as possible. I agree with Kristi, don't give up. If she's peeing, you're already half way there! Good luck!
I took all of that a step further and started giving Jenna a little bit of miralax (laxative) so she didnt have a choice. She also was afraid of the potty. she still kind of is, but is getting much better. So I would give her the miralax, like a quarter cap full, and then watch her like a hawk. It only took about ten minutes. I always let her look at her poop to see it isnt scary and then she gets to wave bye bye to it as it flushes down. Letting carly watch a show while she sits there is a good idea too, but I find with Jenna it distracts her too much and nothing happens. We read stories. I know it is really hard and really frustrating, but PLEASE dont quit. I think that is the worst thing you could do right now. My SIL gave up and it has only gotten worse. Stick with it. Good luck!
Good luck! I have kind of the opposite problem with James. We've taken him to the "potty" every night before bed for months so that he could get the feel for it before we really went at it. Now we've moved it up to about 3-4 times a day when we just ask if he has to go and take him (even if he says "no"). The problem is, he almost always tells now when he has to poop and it's awesome (I haven't had to change a poopy diaper in days) but he will NEVER tell us when he has to pee. Never. He'll go in the toilet when we tell him to but he won't actually tell us on his own. It's very frustrating!
Good luck with Carly and keep at it! Like someone else suggested, I would take her potty to wherever the TV is and let her just sit on it for awhile and maybe she'll relax. Or you can do what my mom used to do and sit her on the real toilet around when she normally goes and read stories until it happens.
I don't have any advice because Novalie didn't have this issue, but I just wanted to say to keep up the good work and you and Carly can do it! I will say that looking back on our potty training experience I wish I would have just relaxed about it and not taken it so seriously. No one knows better than you Carly's limits and your own limits, so trust in that and you will know what to do. Good luck!
So this is bribery at its fullest but it worked great for us. My sis in law who has potty trained 4 girls followed the dr phil method. you have her teach a doll how to go potty and then every time the doll goes potty the doll gets a present (like a bottle, hat, doll clothes, etc) every time your child goes potty they get a present too (i used matchbox cars, playdough, something cheap). you do this 7 times. Each time having the child walk the doll through each step. For poop...you go all out and get a toy that your kid really wants. Set this on the potty so they can look at it everytime they go in. You remind them that after they poop in potty they get it. It worked really well for Hyrum and he was potty trained in 2 days. He was just shy of 3 though. Good luck! We all feel your pain! (sorry for the length)
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